Intimacy and Social Dancing

There's a very fine line dividing a beautiful sensual dance from a crass distasteful one.

This question has come up a lot in my discussions with fellow dancers so I thought I'd share my thoughts on it.

Just how close is too close when dancing? When do you cross over from being tastefully sensual to being overtly crass?

Let's start by breaking down each word: Intimate Social Dancing

INTIMATE: By definition, intimate is an adjective that characterizes a close or warm personal relationship or a friendly, warm atmosphere.

SOCIAL: Implies a community; a group of people interacting together, enjoying friendly companionship and having a good time. There is an sense of openness in that everyone is welcome to participate.

DANCING: Is an activity that one actively engages in: a series of rhythmical steps with body motions in time with music.

Social dancing is an activity that embodies the interaction between 2 people (usually a guy and a girl or a lead and a follow) which involves music and movement: engaging body, mind, spirit, and feeling. It is personal, intimate, communicative, social and public all at the same time. It is also creative, spontaneous, individuals dancing in response to each other with a structure and convention framed around it. Leads initiate and follows respond and enhance what the leads initiate.

In my view, all social dancing has some level of intimacy because of the connection that is established between the lead and follow to the music. That unspoken communication is a form of intimacy on it's own. There are certainly some dances that require closer physical contact than others, and that’s where all the “fun” begins.

I often get asked how I feel about dancing in a close embrace: for example, during a bachata moderna or when I'm dancing the blues. My answer is pretty simple. There are many styles of dance and if close embrace is part of the dance style that’s how it should be danced: that close embrace is part of the appeal and one the reasons I enjoy dancing.

I love learning different forms of dancing – the variety in the steps and interaction with my lead allow me to express myself freely within the context of the music that we dance to. For me, an intimate dance, requiring closer physical contact has a strong appeal. Dances like Tango (I’m still a beginner), Kizomba, Blues and Bachata allow for a closer connection where I can experience the warmth of an embrace with another person: I close my eyes and the rest of the dance unfolds like magic.

Here’s the key to the “magic” of being able to enjoy the dance without crossing the line:

Both parties are there because they enjoy and respect the intimacy of the dance.

Translation: [pardon the directness] you’re not there to pick up some random person and get laid! You’re there for Intimate Social Dancing.

I’m not going to pretend that this type of dancing doesn’t lend itself to a different kind of intimacy off the dance floor: of course it can! I have many friends who’ve expressed that one of the biggest attractions is how enjoyable that close physical proximity is when dancing with someone of the opposite sex (not to mention the “thrill” if said someone is the object of one’s dance crush – oo-la-la!) On the dance floor however, it’s still a social (as in community) activity and one must be respectful of the people one interacts with on the dance floor and during the dance. That’s why there is some structure on how the dance is danced: even a dance as loose as the blues, still has the basic foundation in that lead-follow connection.

Everyone has different definitions for their personal boundaries and space. There are different degrees of close embrace. As a lead, one should understand that and respect what the follow you’re dancing with is willing to allow. That just comes with the territory. If you’re not sure about how someone will react when you first dance with them, just observe them dancing before you ask – “look before you leap” as it were.

Now, there are many occasions where this close contact can have very different results so I’m addressing those occasions in the form of Q&A. These have been collected from various conversations I’ve had with fellow dancers. Not all the answers are my own – many of them are compilations of responses that were shared during those discussions. Hopefully they help you answer your own questions and at the very least provide you with some entertainment along the way.

“I just don’t want to come across as “that creepy” guy when I’m dancing – how do I do that when I’m getting that close to someone I’m dancing with for the 1st time?”

It’s all about approach and intent. People give off a different energy when they are approaching with “shall we dance?” versus “I want to get in your pants!”. If you approach like a gentleman with respect and admiration, that’s always a good start. Just because that dance requires you to get close, doesn’t mean you have to start close right away. Take advantage of the introduction and ease into the close embrace. The lady or follow will tell you when it’s close enough. You should feel her relax into your lead and off you go.

I would also suggest that leads learn about the different styles of close embrace by taking a Tango or Blues class. There are ways to approach your partner so that it’s not an “in your face” or intimidating approach. Little things like open by inviting and then slowly closing the embrace will help.

“What if she/he just doesn’t want to be that close?”

Remember respect? It comes with the territory – everyone has different space boundaries and don’t force yours on who you’re dancing with: it’s just one song, one dance. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to dance with this person again afterward. In the meantime, be polite and handle it with grace and poise.

“What if I physically feel something from my lead that’s telling me he’s a little turned on by the dance?”

Let’s face it – this is an “occupational hazard”. I mean how can you not get turned on when you’re dancing with someone hot, to this wonderful music and the whole time you’re in a close physical embrace? I’m so lucky to be a woman because at least the physical manifestation of being turned on is not as obvious as a man’s. Here is definitely a moment where the line might get crossed.

The underlying assumption must be true: both parties are there to enjoy and respect each other and the dancing. Here’s some suggestions on how to gracefully handle the situation:

For the lead: perhaps adjust the closeness of the embrace until things subside a little so that it’s not so obvious. Your close embrace can be offset enough for you to maintain the close contact. You don’t have to say anything or make it a big deal. If you have the gift for just the right touch of humor for the occasion – a small smile or shrug to lighten the mood then that might help. Just remember “occupational hazard” and focus on the dance.

For the follow: remember “occupational hazard”, if you trust the intent of your lead, then don’t make it an issue. I tend to just ignore it and if my lead makes the appropriate adjustments, the dance continues and nothing more needs to be said. If my lead does say something to apologize, I’ll acknowledge it lightly as well.

NOW, if the lead does not adjust and the follow is uncomfortable, then follows – by all means, apply some “defensive” dancing maneuvers to distance yourself from your lead and remember that the dance doesn’t last forever.

Finally, if it really is uncomfortable for you, then either party should be able to excuse yourself from the dance – politely – and part ways.

“Oops, my hand accidentally brushed against (insert sensitive body part here)! What do I do?”

Same as above. It's an “occupational hazard” even in the not so close social dances. So. handle it with light humor (if you can), poise and grace - don't make it a big deal unless that line is really crossed. If someone is feeling you up and you're not cool with it or the touch/contact is uncomfortable for you, you're well within your rights to step away. You can just tell them you have to excuse yourself and leave.

“Wow! That really was a woozy of a dance… hand me a cigarette – please!”

Let’s face it folks – this is a high like no other really so why not enjoy it? Intimate Social Dancing is one big flirt fest and a celebration of how fun the interaction between the sexes can be.

One last word of advice:
If you feel like there’s something extra special beyond the dance, make sure you wait before acting on it. I think there are times when the “dance high” can be confusing and it can take a while for that to subside. Save yourself some drama.

If you have intentions to get to know a person beyond the dancing, it might be best to approach gently on the side with some small conversation and then setup a different time to pursue something off the social dance floor.

Don't let your dance high carry you away to never never land as far as relationships go. I never assume that someone is interested beyond the dancing unless he makes a definite move to get to know me off the dance floor. I'm excited for those opportunities to get to know someone off the dance floor, especially if there's already a strong dance connection. I mean what girl wouldn't want a leading man in her life that can literally sweep her off her feet?

Birthday Week to Remember

Another time out to share from my personal life - I've had the best birthday week ever and its the best way to start a new year. So I'd like to pay tribute to the events and people that share it with me.

Facebook deluge of birthday wishes: Overwhelming! I heard from folks all over the world starting from Sunday forward. I started to say thanks to each one and then couldn't keep up.

Starting with a gift for my sister: We have birthdays that are 3 days apart. So I took the kiddos for a weekend so that she and her hubby could have time to themselves. I had a blast - we went to see How to Train Your Dragon and just had a great time together.

The usual things turned out to be FAN-tastic: I think i didn't realize how good my life is - truly - until doing nothing special for my birthday turned out to be quite special after all. I decided not to plan too much and just enjoy the things I do normally with the people I know and it worked out better than I could've hoped for.

A cupcake to kick-off the day: After volleyball the day before my big day, my friend got me a cupcake from Starbucks and it was a perfect way to start things off. I had it for breakfast in the morning.

Ah! The Surprises are always so much fun: On my birthday I had so many surprises, the birthday greetings flooded my inbox. An impromptu birthday dance in mambo dance class. Then at Bachata night, I had cupcakes, brownies, flan, chocolate, german chocolate cake, dark chocolate... it never seemed to stop! One can never have too much cake for a birthday!

The Firsts: I had my 1st ever birthday dance! As much as I love to dance, I spent most of my birthdays playing volleyball somewhere and celebrating in a different way. I got to dance my very 1st birthday bachata dance and it was a BLAST!!! thanks to everyone that made it special! Here's link to my birthday bachata:

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=567496535386&ref=mf

 I got one of the best compliments ever while dancing with someone at the Bachata Social. I had just finished spinning through a few moves when my lead stopped leading for a second. He shook his head quickly and smiled and said "Oh! My bad, I was just watching you spin." I thought, well there's nothing wrong with that is there? THANKS!

On Thursday I got to dance my 1st Salsa Birthday Dance and BOY was it fun! I didn't even have a chance to be nervous because once the music started, I had one great lead after another come out to lead me and spin me and dip me. I was swept of my feet! I only wish I could have planned it a little better and got a video.

 An evening at the Spa: with my sister despite the onset of a migraine was just what the doctor ordered. I got scrubbed and soaked in olive oil/honey/milk/cucumbers and thoroughly massaged. I was so relaxed by the end of it, there was nothing left to do but sleep.

 A weekend with family with lots of food and hugs: I went to Portland with my sis and her family and we had such a great time. The kids were awesome and we got to play, eat, walk around, drive around... there are great pics on my flickr stream but this one sort of shows the culmination of our eating adventures where we feasted on meat (after eating a LOT of donuts!)

Dancing at Folklife was soooo much fun - I'm so glad I got to dance the rueda with such a great group of people. The dancing that followed was just as fun and the rest of my Monday night was marvelous - like it always is ;)



Love, Joy, Dance, Hugs, Smiles, Food and Wonderful Friends and Family - there's nothing better.

much thanks, always

Sleep Deprived but Still Dancing

I thought it worthwhile to mark the events from the past weekend, after all, its a milestone of sorts and despite being sleep deprived, its been such fun.

This past weekend, on Fri 5/14 and Sat 5/15, my salsa dance team BDS Extreme, performed for the 1st time! I danced all weekend long from Friday to Sunday, with different groups of people, different dance styles,  across 2 states on about 11 hours of sleep total (counting 2 naps that I took). Needless to say, I had a BLAST!

Here's the link to the video of our performance on Friday at the Belltown Dance Studio
Here's the link to the video of our performance on Saturday at the Mambo Lounge in Portland, OR for Gemini's 6th Anniversary party.

A picture of my dance team in our costumes after the 1st performance:

My stream-of-consciousness recollections of the weekend:

rueda dance practice at the Wallingford Steps - so nice out... BDS Dance Social, wearing swishy red skirt and heels... with make-up!... oh the wonderful comments I got (thanks!)... it was so much fun to dance... Jill and Jill contest... leading a lead... 1st performance and no casualties (woot!)... some amazing dances with new and favorite leads... blues at the bistro, swanky, chill, oh so smooth...mmm-hmmm!...road trip to Portland... getting to know my team mates... "Squirrel!"...the Jupiter hotel - gotta love a hotel that has their own brand of condoms :p ... practicing out on the driveway... dancing before the big performance... waiting for the performances to start...an impromptu bachata backstage while waiting (oh! that was fun)... 2nd performance, better than the 1st ... more fantastic salsa dancing, on1, on2.... hotcakes and hash browns with bacon, sausage and ham (uh-huh... 1/2 a pig I think)... 3 hours of sleep...chill ride back (thanks!) AND in good time... kizomba dancing mmm-hmmm! ...salsa church with "MWAH!" more great dances...rueda practice... ice cream!!!... ran out of steam took  a little nap... rooftop party with a lovely sunset as the backdrop, beautiful evening, lots of great food and company... salsa, casino... hugs.... finally, sleep

AND because I believe that expressing gratitude begets even more to be grateful for here goes:

• Thank you to Javier , Holly and Jim who choreographed and coached our team.
• Thank you to my team mates for pushing through and getting the dance down, even to the point of improving it from Friday to Saturday.
• Thank you to my friends who came to see the performance, who gave me their support even though they couldn't make it, who wished me well and said many wonderful things.
• Thank you to a total stranger who stopped me to tell me that I did a great job and that it was wonderful to see how much I really enjoyed dancing during the performance.
• Thanks to my rides there and back: for driving and some great conversation.
  
• Thanks for some rockin' food at the hotcakes and steak house (i'm still full thinking about it)
• Thank you to all the leads I danced with, I had some "mwah!" dances all weekend
• Thank you for salsa, blues, bachata, rueda, casino
• Thank you for rooftop parties with lots of food, great weather, great company to talk and dance with
• Thank you for all the joy, despite lack of sleep, that I was able to be a part of
  

What Now?

I hit a point in my dancing progression where I've asked myself  "what now?"

There are many stages to learning and some academics may even have their own models for the different stages.What I'm writing here are the stages that I went through and where I currently am almost 3 years into salsa dancing.

This progression may sound familiar - I  think that everyone goes through some form of these stages though its possible that the order may be different. Anyway, I'm writing to share and maybe help other folks who might find themselves in the "What Now?" predicament - something that can happen several times in one's dance progressions.

Beginner: Unsure but interested; having fun with the dance but not sure enough to go out dancing beyond the classroom. You're just starting and are enrolled in some sort of beginner class. You've decided to try salsa dancing for one, some or all of these reasons: your friend dragged you out, the newness is fun, the social part is fun, there maybe some attractive people in class you'd like to get to know more (instructor not excluded), its something active to do, you've always wanted to try it because it looks fun/cool.


Advanced Beginner: Its been anywhere from 2-6 months since you've started and you've gone through a few of the beginner series and have a little bit of an arsenal to play with for dancing. You may have even started to take lessons from other instructors (oh yes, there are many out there!) You're getting to know your classmates and are maybe starting to go out social dancing at least once a week.


JUNCTURE: At this point some people fall off for one reason or another: it was fun but you're not willing to spend more time to get better; you met someone and their into something else; its not floating your boat any more; you've had some bad dance experiences and have been turned off; other stuff in your life just is more important.



Intermediate: You've "graduated"! You're about  year into dancing and someone said that you're good enough to make the leap to intermediate! You're more confident, know more moves, you're actually out social dancing 2, maybe 3 times a week and are starting to notice what the more advanced dancers are doing. you pick out your favorites as you watch them and think to yourself - "I want to dance like that!"

JUNCTURE: At this point you either become a total addict, or you decide that perhaps its time to back off a little bit and focus on something else. Basically, if you've caught the bug, you're hooked and booked! You'll find yourself dancing almost everyday, taking lessons from 1 or more teachers, attending salsa congresses, talking about dancing and hanging out with dancers all the time.

Advanced Intermediate: About a year and a half close to the 2 year mark you find yourself at another weird spot. You know enough to know that there's a LOT you still have to learn. You're all of a sudden finding that all you ever do in your free time is dance - yes, you are now officially a salsaholic. If you're still stuck in the taking classes mode and haven't gone out dancing then you're not really addicted yet and should really consider social dancing more. You're probably contemplating the next congress or 2 and even starting to branch out and try venues outside your established comfort zones.

JUNCTURE: For me, this was a key juncture. I was starting to wonder how long it would take me to "get better" to the point where I would be happy with my dancing. I was a bit frustrated because I didn't think I could ever look like these professionals who were so polished and precise. I took myself away from the dancing scene I did know and vacationed in Oaxaca and learned from someone new. I met some great people and the instructor I learned from had a style I could relate to (and some advice from an ex) I was re-energized! I hit a new stride and my dance confidence went WAAAAAAY up. [This is KEY by the was, the confidence going up... it really changes your dance, and for the better!]  I decided that I didn't have to look like anyone else, I should just be me! I wanted to be the best follow I could be while social dancing and all of a sudden, all my doubts disappeared, I found my own style and got great feedback and started to really enjoy the dance. I'm able to turn off my own self-critic, still be open to learning and incorporate all the other dances that I knew about into salsa.

Advanced: All that dancing got you here :) Its likely to be going on year 3 to 5. You've established a routine of your favorite places to go and are getting more play time with the folks you've been watching and looking up to. You're still taking some lessons and likely going to congresses. You're friends list in facebook has grown because of all your new dancer friends. Its weird (but nice) when this happens but you're likely to now be the one that people want to dance like. You're dance card is always full and when you go to your familiar haunts, there's always someone you know and can say hi to, get a hug, get a dance and off you go.

Its another JUNCTURE: Where do you go from here? You've maxed out on lessons, may have even taken privates with one or more instructors and still get a high from all the dancing. Your non-dance time is quite limited and people outside of dance only ever know you to be dancing. The euphoria is still there but something might be missing or you're starting to wonder what to do next. So what now?

These are the options I compiled for myself and from talking to others in a similar stage:

• Life is good: You are happy with your dancing, the people you're meeting, its a great place to be and nothing more needs to be said.
• If you haven't already, dance with other teachers; attend congresses where you get exposed to teachers/dancers outside of Seattle
• Explore other latin dances: chacha, merengue, bachata, cumbia
• Explore other dances: blues, swing, tango
• Back to the basics or "Everything old is new again" there are nuances that you may discover by going back the basics or taking basics from some other dance.
• Learn the opposite role (if you're a lead, follow and vice versa)
• Explore other forms of Salsa: casino, rueda de casino, on2 mambo, sohn, etc.
• Understand the music more
• Join a performance team
• Find a dance Partner to dance with and practice for social dancing
• Find a dance Partner to dance with and practice for performance
• Help out with or start to contemplate teaching

What did I decide to do? pretty much almost all of the above except for performing with a partner

1) Join a Performance Dance Team and experience choreographed Salsa
2) Took  lessons to improve other related dances: mambo (salsa on 2) and understand the structure of the music more.

3) Continue to go out social dancing making sure to vary the dancing when I can: salsa, bachata, casino, rueda, cha-cha, swing/blues
4) Learn new dances: Dabble in a little bit of West Coast Swing, Belly Dancing (its fun and I have a long, long way to go; Kizomba,  which is a fusion of some of my favorite dancing AND the music is just lovely: I dabbled in West Coast Swing but am not quite ready to give up more for it.
5)  Learn to lead (salsa and bachata)
6) Started to discuss dancing with my fellow dancer friends and in some cases, we coach each other on moves that we do and the styling that we have - its great fun to collaborate and even be able to help someone else find their own stride!


To say that I still enjoy dancing is an understatement, unlike some of the folks who dance as much as I do (or did) who have hit the "burn out" period where they need to step away from the dancing, I haven't gotten there yet and I think I won't because of the variety of dances I'm learning all at once.


Is there ever an end to learning? I don't think so. I maintain that as long as you are willing, there is always something to learn. Take dancing: it is framed by music and movement and created/performed by people. There are so many different kinds of people in the world who provide an unending supply of creative juices on top of a rich history! There will always be someone new to dance with or some new song that is made. The only reason you would stop learning is if you don't want to anymore.

In the end, at every juncture, its really more about answering the question "Is dancing something I still love doing?"

For me, the answer is still unequivocably is YES!

Share your thoughts, let me know what you think and if you have other ideas to share - please do!
Happy Dancing

Gratitude

Whoosh! There went April and its now May! Almost halfway through the year and I'm almost a year older.

The passage of time and busy lives have a way of just flying by and I used to ask myself  "Just what have I done so far?" Well folks, I have an answer for that - in case you find yourself in the very same predicament: take a little bit of time (whatever you can spare) every day and make a list of things to be thankful for. [or, if you're like me you can use facebook and review all your past statuses :p]

Taking the time everyday to just think about the things you have to be grateful for has a way of helping you to remember exactly what you've done so far AND relive some wonderful moments. This contemplation also focuses you on positive thoughts: a much better alternative to those few minutes that you might have spent venting about what some poopy head did at work. I understand that a good vent can be a cleansing experience so I'm not saying to stop venting! Just remember to take a moment to be thankful too.

Sometimes its a long list, sometimes its a short list - whatever it is, its still something to give thanks for!

Just to share - here are the things that I am grateful for (there's more but this is what I came up for now):

• my family because despite all our conflicts, I know they will always love me no matter what I do.
• my niece True and nephew Max who are sources of unlimited joy in my life - I am really blessed to have them so close and be a part of their lives - they're a BLAST!
• re-discovering dance through salsa... who knew that walking into a random studio in Belltown would lead me here? I've still got miles to go and so many branches to explore, its like a never-ending playground and the people I've met so far have also been amazing.
• my health - despite 2 knee surgeries, I am still able to play volleyball and dance and enjoy the active life that I have
• having the courage to follow-through with a change which brought me here to Seattle and gave me a chance to start some new and fun things.
• for whoever invented social dancing and the music that goes with it - what a wonderful way to express something that can be shared through movement that also encapsulates how good the interaction between leading and following can be.
• that the things I do can touch people in a positive way and perhaps even inspire them to generate more positive energy in their own lives.
• for ice cream - mmmm! Dessert in general :)
• that there's always something new to learn: I love being engaged in learning and the feeling of accomplishment it give me when I'm getting better at it. I love it when I can share it with other people that enjoy it as much as I do and even better, introduce it to others who have never thought to try
• for friends who know me so well that it doesn't take much for me to talk to them whenever or wherever they are
• that I have all sorts of things to be excited about
• that there are still lots of places left to explore
• for the the wonderful dancing I've had the pleasure to experience and more to come
• that while I do the things I love, there are people who take the time to say some of the sweetest things to make my day (THANK YOU!)

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” William Arthur Ward quotes

Wishes

Palm trees, warm sun, ocean breezes, hugs from wee ones, laughter and shave ice :D

The Big Island is a wonderful place for wishes of more that I already have and one that I'm waiting for.

Joy and happiness ...always

NOW:
Warmth and love of friends and family
Dancing, uninhibited, connecting to music, touch, movement ...in harmony
Never growing so old that I can't learn


Always laughing out loud at the silliest things - not the least of which is me
Unlimited supply of hugs and kisses
A child at heart: smiling, dreaming, playing, imagining

SOON:
 True Love to cross my path, 
Walk alongside me
See me and say "There you are"
Dance with me anywhere
Always, home

Sometimes, the Clouds want to Come out and Play

My sunny optimistic outlook sometimes goes through periods of grey clouds and storms. When I'm happy all the time, I don't get practice dealing with the "not-so-happy" events. I found myself not having any patience for them but still having to deal with the emotions and energy that are there.

Luckily, I DO have a LOT of practice looking at the bright side of things AND so, I thought I'd share some of my "toolkit" on how to make the sun shine despite the clouds over head.

1) Go with the flow: For me, being angry or upset is not a productive state. I've seen many people effectively channel their anger into something quite positive and if you can do that, its the best way to work through it. For myself, those negative times leaves me wanting to just get out of them as quickly as possible and I sometimes forget to let the feelings flow because negativity has a tendency to linger and fester. Don't try to hold back what you feel because that will come back to bite you later. I'm not suggesting you scream at everyone you meet when you're upset. I am suggesting that you find a safe space; by yourself or with good friends who will understand and allow yourself to just be - whatever it is. I like to announce that I need some time to just rant/vent and I'm lucky to have friends and family who are more than happy to listen to me when I'm in this state. The other thing is, with my really good friends, they just give me a slap upside the head or a fresh look at things which always helps to calm me down. Its great to find sympathy but don't wallow in it so much that it becomes an extended bitch fest - THAT is just asking for worse things to come out and play.

2) Root Cause: My geekiness emerges here because I'm all about the root cause. I always try to figure out what triggered the "bad" feeling just so I can understand where things come from and deal with it at the beginning. Its hard to do since all you're into at the moment is the emotion. After "letting it out" I then try to evaluate why I was so angry/sad/upset in the first place. Almost all the time, when I can figure out the root, the clouds don't seem so ominous anymore.

3) Do Something that Reaffirms Your Joy: There are better things to do than spend your time in a negative place. Best to do what you love and it will help you to move on from under the clouds. Better yet, get on the path to something better for yourself and that will certainly dispel those clouds. Learn what you can (if there's anything to learn) and MOVE ON! Life's too rich to let a cloudy day bring you down for very long. Sing in the rain, dance and splash around, celebrate something and pretty soon, you'll feel that positive energy taking over. My personal joys are playing with my niece and nephew, dancing, ice cream with a friend, cooking and sharing food, doing something good for someone else and being with people who help me to laugh at myself.

4) Engage with Something New: I find that if my brain is occupied with learning something new or starting a project or refining a skill, there's no room for negativity. Creation has a magic on its own that I find is strong enough to trump anything negative. I keep a list of things I want to do and projects that I would like to start so when I'm particularly stuck in a negative place, I'll look at that list to find something to look forward to.

5) Something to Smile about: Ah, yes, the smile lifts everything. If you "write down" moments that brought you joy you can always look at them again to remember those moments. Whatever the trigger: words, pictures, music, the smell of roses, that view of the bay, there are memories in you that just make you smile so bring them out and enjoy them again.

It boils down to this: surround yourself with the things, people and places that bring you joy and when the clouds come out to play, you'll be armed with everything you need to see it through.

“The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little, soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heart-felt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable and genial feeling”
~Samuel Taylor

My niece True and nephew Max are sources of unexpected joy - I thought I'd share a moment of them clowning around that just makes me smile:

From Tee4Life