Friday, November 20, 2009

"Don't Let Some Poopy Head Ruin Your Day!"

Poopy is derived from the word "poop" which is a child friendly form of the word shit.

"Poopy head" is a term that my niece and nephew use on each other when one of them does something silly or inexplicable. Most of the time, it happens when one of them is being just plain nonsensical. Sometimes its used when one of them is not being nice. Other times its used when one of them is being grouchy and just no fun to be around. And my favorite time is when they just call each other that to get a laugh.

So, my new motto for times when shit happens is: "Don't let some poopy head ruin your day!"

See, when shit happens, its usually accompanied by emotional bursts followed by one of 2 possible outcomes:
ONE: Things could escalate and drama ensues.
TWO: Emotions ride their course and there is no drama because you say
"I'm not going to let some poopy head ruin my day!"

I break it down very simply on purpose.

Oftentimes, when one is hip deep in the "shit" (whatever it might be): emotions run high, your involvement is so entrenched. It's too hard or complicated to pull back and put things in perspective.

As you deal with your emotions, there is a tipping point when the drama begins to escalate. Drama develops quickly when you start to get embroiled in things that are beyond your direct control: you may start to speculate or play what-if scenarios or even try to figure out - why?. Drama explodes when, in the midst of being upset, the final truth is hidden and all you can see is a forest of trees instead of the path to clear pasture.

I submit that it comes down to one question: Do you really want to let some poopy head, ruin your day?!

Heck, NO!

By the way, in some cases, the poopy head is you! In which case, you can just roll with it, don't beat yourself up unnecessarily, find a good friend to give you a hug and move on.

Because things are not always so clear cut, I have some additional DO's and a DON'T that might help in the event that shit does happen:
  • DO honor your emotions: there's usually no short-cutting things when you feel sad or angry because they come back to bite you. Do what you need to do to accept your feelings before you hit that drama tipping point.
  • DO ask yourself if there's something you can do to prevent the "shit" from happening again. Sometimes you could have done something to prevent shit from happening. Don't beat yourself up - just be responsible for it.
  • DO decide if you're going to just leave the poopy head be or address the situation. Sometimes the poopy head in question is someone you care about so you have another decision to make. If you do decide to address it, WAIT till the emotions boil over, it's better that way, trust me.
  • DO ask yourself (or find a friend who can listen to you vent and then ask you), "how much do I really want to let this bother me?" because after all, you DON'T want to let some poopy head ruin you day.
  • DON'T start questioning or doubting or putting yourself down about what happened: didn't you know? Shit happens all the time!

And, because there are times when you need a lifeline when shit happens, make sure to have handy:
  • A best friend that can listen to you without judging or getting you even more fired up.
  • Whatever memory or thought or thing that will make you smile without fail. Need some ideas? Dance, ice cream, hugs, chocolate ...
  • Sometimes, it helps to read what others are having a bad day about:
  • Dance! oh, i said that already

These little tidbits have liberated me from many miserable events in my life that I previously had so much trouble avoiding.

At the very least, its funny to say "poopy head". My niece and nephew will say (or hear) "poopy" and laugh.

Laughter is always the best medicine.

Monday, November 9, 2009

That Old Black Magic has Me In Its Spell

"...round and round I go.. In a spin, loving the spin I'm in, under that old black magic"
Complete lyrics are at the bottom of this post.

Immortalized by 'ol Frankie himself, I just wanted to share the lyrics to this song. It embodies for me what often times happen on the dance floor: a brief, but magical love affair to some sassy tune between a leading lady and her leading man.

I spent the weekend at the  Emerald City Blues Festival and learned a lot about the lead-follow connection so perhaps that's why this song in spinning around in my head. Every instructor said the same thing about how to have the best dance (not specific to blues):

  • Connect with the music (sing with it if you can)
  • In the beginning, spend some time to get to know your partner 1st
  • Lead's initiate
  • Follow's execute and showcase with flourish
  • Relax and slow down, don't rush the dance: leader's wait for your follow to respond, follows wait for the lead
  • Leads, showcase your follow and if something isn't working, don't force the move, just try something else.
  • Follows don't stay in the middle ground, be clear about your movement and finish your moves instead of 2nd guessing what the next one is going to be.
Does this not also apply to that day-to-day dance in life when boy meets girl? Just substitute the words dance and music for life and relationships and its such a perfect fit. Outside the dance floor, not everyone's dancing to the same music at any point in time: a big part of the challenge in making the magic happen.

The framework of a dance is finite: its got a start and finish and if both parties wish it, they can meet up again to dance or thank each other and go their separate ways. This isn't always so clean cut where people and relationships are concerned but if you keep in mind how much fun it can be and how good it can feel - I think these basic rules of dance can be used as the same basic guidelines in life.

After all, we call could use a good dose of that old black magic.

-by Frank Sinatra

That old black magic has me in its spell, that old black magic that you weave so well.
Those icy fingers up and down my spine
That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine.
The same old tingle that I feel inside, and then that elevator starts its ride
And down and down I go, round and round I go, like a leaf that's caught in the tide.
I should stay away, but what can I do?
I hear your name and I'm aflame
Aflame with such a burning desire that only your kiss can put out the fire.
For you're the lover I have waited for, the mate that fate had me created for.
And every time your lips meet mine, darling, down and down I go, round and round I go
In a spin, loving the spin I'm in, under that old black magic called love