Sunday, August 30, 2009

When No Plans Lead to the Best Days

I plan things out for a living. I make sure tasks are well defined, assigned, given due dates and then work hard to push to make commitments. I do that with my free time too because I like doing so many different things, I have to make sure they all fit together.

I read a book once that recommended "relinquish control and let the magic happen". This is somewhat against my nature but I do have moments where I can "go with the flow".

Every now and again, I leave days open: days when I have no plan. I LOVE it when those days just play out wonderfully!

Despite a forecast of rain, it turned out to be a beautiful day. I spent time just being by myself, getting a new do with highlights, enjoying my family, dancing on the beach, getting to know some people better, dancing with city lights in the background and eating yummy pizza with fun company.

All in all - quite an enjoyable day.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Gauranteed to Bring A Smile

I am blessed indeed to have 2 things that I can always count on to put a smile on my face.

Here's my best boy, my nephew Max, wrapped up in a python (yes, I did that) with a big smile on his face, still holding on to his cars that we got for his birthday.

My niece True is getting longer and longer every time I see her! Pretty soon, she'll be taller than me and I won't be able to toss her around like I do now.

Lots of hugs, smiles and silliness... :D

Truly - I am blessed.

And I Should Care Why?

Within the past year, I've settled very nicely into my life in Seattle and have really been blessed with a wealth of new friends, being closer to my family and lots of new things to do.

At the same time, I've had the "pleasure" of going through a couple of relationships that have left me less than my joyful self: one was heartbreaking, the other just hurtful.

In both cases, I was told by the respective sources, that it wasn't because of me.

Sound familiar?

While there is some comfort in not being "guilty" of any wrong-doing, being innocent does not really "save you any licks" in the process of recovering from such things. In the end, in order to move on and get back to my happy place, I came to the conclusion that neither of them cared enough to work through things with me and it is what it is. I had to work through my own feelings so that I would respond to them in an equal manner. Remember my "Tee"bit? In relationships, actions (from others) must be met with equal reaction".

I am at a point with both of these people where I've categorized them into the "acquaintance" bucket. The one where I don't spend a lot of energy on and in dance events where we intersect, may still enjoy dancing with them.

Strangely enough, without my prompting for it or even desiring it, both these people volunteered information about what they were going to be doing over the weekend (in one case) and on some random evening.

And I should care why?!

Life is funny like that - when you least care about something, "stuff" happens. I'm chalking it up to the "spice" in life.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Random "Tee"Bits

Today I felt like getting things down and out of my head to share. Possibly the weekend of sensory overload had something to do with it. I feel like there's all this "stuff" in my head and to help me process it and make way for more "stuff", writing it down did the trick. There's no inherent importance in the order except that the 1st one is the most recent of my discoveries.

"Life is Dance" - I used to think volleyball was the key to understanding how the world works. It did for a while but to me, not everything in my life is about competing and winning. Now I believe that dance is a more complete analogy. There are all sorts of music tracks that one can choose to hear and follow. You follow one or more that you resonate with or are curious about and meet people that dig the same beat. Changes can happen and you start to hear some things that you like and somethings that you don't. Sometimes you lead, and sometimes you follow and you meet all sorts of people along the way, some stay with you as friends while others just weave in and out and maybe back again. There's the dance reflecting the chase and flirtation between men and women that is so embedded in afro-cuban dance. There's also your own base beat that you're in tune with and when you find someone else who's base beat harmonizes with yours and is open to the dance just like you are; making music together, enjoying life's rhythms together and leading and following in sync with you, then you know you've come home. [I know, I know, its a tall order but its definitely possible.]

"Resistance IS futile" - if something starts to get hard and difficult and its no longer fun, that's a RED flag for drama and hard times. The choice is to run away or deal with it. Either way, there should a voice going "Danger Wil Robinson!!!" [and yes, I just dated myself with that quote.] The objective when met with resistance is to remove it or remove oneself from its presence.

"Attachments that are formed too quickly can just as easily detach" - just means that you gotta put time into something for it to be worthwhile and last. While I love it when things happen so quickly and easily, I have learned that it is not always the best foundation for something long term. Every now and again, the exception is true and I've been blessed with many of those moments but in general, don't get attached too quickly - it can hurt like the dickens when things fall apart.

"Always remember to be thankful for what gives you joy" - pretty straight forward. We don't say thank you enough and it makes people feel wonderful to know they're appreciated. If you believe in a higher power - then be thankful for the good that you receive.

"Where other people are involved, you can never really tell why things happen and even when they tell you, you can never really tell." - I am a trusting soul and give people the benefit of the doubt but the truth is, even though I can be honest about how I feel and what I say, not everyone is or can be. If you weren't there, you'll never really know the truth of what happened so unless you can be in someone's brain, its all about what they choose to tell you and how you choose to receive it.

"Make sure you give yourself space to just be you." - because I love being with people, doing and learning things, I tend to let myself get carried away by the momentum of events and other people so much that sometimes, I lose track of what's important to me. I always leave some time when there is NOTHING going on so that I can just be me.

"What goes around comes around... sometimes it just takes a while and sometimes, you just don't see it." - My personal belief is that while I may not have the satisfaction of seeing someone live through the same negativity they cause others to experience, I have faith that they do experience the same negativity in other ways. Works the same way with the good stuff except that the good stuff, you definitely see.

"Always have a source of hugs readily available." - I'm lucky enough to have my niece and nephew as my hug source but everyone needs an abundance of such things.

"Always have something readily available that is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face - like ice cream" - yes, yes, what can I say, I love ice cream and cake partly because of the taste but also because a smile always comes to my face when I have some (or think of having some).

"Don't take things for granted but don't let them get to you either." - treat things with respect but also know when to let go.

"Whenever a door closes, there is always another one open, you just have to step out of your comfort zone to go check it out." - Totally and utterly true - my faith in this has yet to be broken.

"In relationships, every action must have an equivalent reaction for things to continue happily forward." - I guess this one is my tribute to "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." I find this to be true whether you're talking about friendships or romance. Despite the fact that I am constantly "breaking" this rule, things work best if one only acts equal to the other's actions. [Remember the whole lead/follow analogy? you've got to follow the lead with the right amount of energy, otherwise its not quite right.] Naturally if things get bad, one must stay true to one's values and all that but all things being equal and good, relationships are not "comfortable" when one party over-reaches.

And finally, a quote that I've posted before:
" Life's a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don't worry about what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go"

~lyrics from Life's A Dance Lyrics Artist: John Michael Montgomery