The Heart of Teaching

This last year as a teacher has helped me learn so many things about what it means to be a teacher and I wanted to share my thoughts.

I teach adults partner social dancing (Kizomba, bachata sometimes salsa).
I coach high school girls on volleyball.
I teach 7th grade students Math.

At first, I focused on learning the skills and content because I loved it. I spent a lot of time learning to be good at dancing, volleyball and math. I then spent time learning how to teach in a school, coach a sport and teach evening recreational classes to adults.  I would go to a coaches clinic for volleyball coaches or take classes on how to be a better teacher, etc. My teaching methods were tied too closely to my content.

One thing to know about me is that my mind works to find common elements in everything I do. I love finding a pattern for disparate things: what did that have to do with setting a volleyball or dancing or solving equations? I decided that if I have a pattern that works for many things, that's a great thing! Perhaps its me being lazy or inherently efficient. I guess I just think the more things I can find that I already know and can apply, the less I have to remember.

I already do many common things across all the different disciplines and students groups that I teach: it only makes sense and it saves my energy and sanity for the differences I do have to deal with. Recently tho, one other thought has popped up in my head about being a teacher. Its crystalizing more and more as I just finished taking a week long course called "Designing Groupwork in Math".

The course title describes the course accurately but says nothing about what I learned and believe to be the HEART of the course.

A bit of context setting about the course: Groupwork comes from Complex Instruction (or CI). There's a lot about the research that went into CI by Elizabeth Cohen and Rachel Lotan. It stems from the need to make learning more accessible to everyone. By everyone that includes some very loaded things like learning styles, cultural bias, gender, race/ethnicity and many other social issues. What this body of learning and practice brought to light for me is to get student engagement, a teacher must address (among other things) the issue of social status in a classroom (or team).

There was lots of great stuff that I'm still marinating in and the one big idea that I'm really resonating with is this:

Learning is most powerful with collaboration. In order to get students to learn collaboratively, we as teachers need to help our students learn about who they are as learners and influence their beliefs  about what it means to learn. As teachers, we ourselves have to be familiar with our own beliefs about learning and be thoughtful about the words and actions we take with our students because we are usually working to shift a mindset which can only come from practicing and coaching the behaviors and actions that support a learning (or growth mindset). 

Have you noticed that nothing I've written since I mentioned the title of the course even mentions math (the content that is being taught)? Did you also notice that none of the language is about being right or wrong?

As a teacher, I am responsible for creating a classroom/community that supports everyone to recognize their strengths and weaknesses and work collaboratively to learn more content. 

Another person expressed things this way: if you change the way your students think about what a classroom is and focus on that community of support through communication and collaboration, the learning takes care of itself.

I soon to realized that while I am actively thinking about what to do for my math classroom, why not also think about what I can do for my coaching or when I teach social partner dancing classes? I started to think about my own biases on how to learn and realized that they way I teach reflects a lot on the way I myself was taught and often those teachers who I love and respect, were not really teaching with the same focus on how students learn.

I also assume that adults as learners will already know who they are. The truth is, students are students no matter what the age group and its important to remember that as a teacher, I am modelling how to learn and how I view my students' learning status in the ways I speak and act with them and in my community.

Sure, I want to teach my content but before content can be taught, I have to recognize that learning happens best when those who learn have access to the material in a supported and collaborative environment. I realize more and more that the way I teach has come from following the practices of teachers that I learned from and respected a lot. Its no wonder that there are some things I don't do very well and its because I don't myself believe in them intrinsically.

I personally love learning. I think its a state of mind like no other: it allows you to be open to possibilities, to be creative, to put yourself in a space of pure discovery without judgement. I am energized when I'm learning because it teaches me about myself, the world around me and the people I interact with. Of course,  there is also that satisfaction of getting something done, of having accomplished something whether its being finally be able to do a triple turn on one foot without falling over OR solving those damn rate problems without second guessing.

What is the HEART of teaching? I believe its this ability to recognize who my students are as learners, support them by helping them recognize their strengths and weaknesses, and giving them access to information in all different ways to help them see the connections they can make in themselves and with their community.

Its a pretty big task and a powerful thing but I love it. I have some ideas how that will look like in my 7th grade classroom for next school year. I'm not quite sure what that will look like in my dance classes or in my coaching but I'm pretty excited to figure that out. I'll share it as I go in future posts but if you have something to share, please comment and reach out, I love to geek out about this sort of stuff. 

Hello, Let's Try This Again

Wow, its been a while. My silence doesn't mean I've run out of things to say. There were so many things going on in my life that I felt like putting thoughts into concrete words on a blog just didn't quite cut it. I was also embroiled in lots of  things that my "be happy" self censored from writing because "that's just not me".

Its the 1st real day of my summer.

For the past 2 years I've been teaching in the 7th grade of a private school (6 through 12) that my niece and soon my nephew attend. The job landed on my lap quite unexpectedly on October 2015 and I, with much trepidation, took the chance. A leap of faith with so many uncertainties and insecurities. Just about the only thing I had faith in was that I would be earning a steady income again.

As I ponder what to focus on for this particular post, I'm most struck by a conversation I had with a parent of one of the students I just taught this past year. It was a conversation that I was apprehensive about because I wasn't sure what we were going to be talking about and I really wasn't all too thrilled about a talk with a parent about potentially stressful topics on my 1st real summer day.

Instead, what I was gifted with was a wonderful conversation filled with many, many connections and beautiful insights into am amazing person that I briefly got to know as a student in my classroom. Just goes to show, that sometimes things are never what you would expect them to be and indeed, all's well that ends well.

Or maybe I should just say: "What a great way to start my 1st day of summer!"

For the last 3 years or so, I've been in a weird sort of limbo. Events in my life left me questioning myself and what I wanted and I found myself at a loss to connect with the spirit I had when I started this blog and when I started my fun-employment. It was a state of mind that I was not used to: I'm usually extremely optimistic, open-minded and able to find the shiny silver lining in everything. I felt a little tired and unmotivated. These things that I used to find so much joy in were no longer a source of joy. They made me tired. They made me doubt myself and my choices and they made me want to retreat. Even dancing wasn't as enjoyable (oh yes, saying this IS a big deal). While in this state, the introverted side of me took over while the extrovert in me was at a loss for what to do.

To be clear: I didn't hate my life and I wasn't sad about anything in particular. I was tired, and I felt disconnected and uninspired. There were still moments of enjoyment and happiness but there was nothing that I ever really got excited about and when someone suggested I reconnect with the purpose that originally gave me a lot of joy I was stumped: what was it again? That thought just made me tired and then I wanted to just retreat to watching and reading my guilty pleasures: anime and manga.

I found comfort in being with my sister's family. My niece and nephew are growing up fast and they continue to have the magical ability to make me smile. They do ignore me from time to time and I no longer can get them to smile and do something cute for me but they still give me hugs, which I love, so I'm milking that until the day (hopefully never) when they say "ok, no more hugging."

What was interesting too was that the judge in me also took a hiatus. I wasn't really doing anything earth shattering or life changing. I was just coasting. Normally the judge in me would be making me feel guilty about the misuse of time, of wasting my life doing nothing, or making me feel guilty about not living up to me full potential. Throughout this limbo, that voice was absent. Ultimately I told myself, this way of being is ok for now. I know things will evolve into something else eventually.

In the midst of that there was family crisis and old injuries resurfacing and my body going through change. All these things would create moments of emotion, but nothing that drove me to do anything differently. In fact, when I started to think about things more, I just got more tired.

For a while I wondered if I was suffering from depression. Here's a list of symptoms and I underlined the ones that applied to me:

• Feeling sad or having a depressed mood
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
• Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
• Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
• Loss of energy or increased fatigue
• Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)
• Feeling worthless or guilty
• Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
• Thoughts of death or suicide

Sure, if I was depressed it was certainly in its early stages but I thought, why worry? and fell back to watching and reading and sleeping. Occasionally I would go out and socialize, bake goodies for friends, make toys, fold origami and take classes to learn something new. These moments took a lot out of me but they were good: it connected me to the things that I always enjoyed and had fun doing and it made me be more of myself and not this person that wasn't interested in much else in life.

About the only thing that drove me was teaching in school. For some reason, I felt it important that as a math teacher to 7th graders, the one thing I didn't want to be is "that" math teacher who scars a kid for life and makes them "hate the math".  This drove me to try different strategies in the classroom and it made my teaching year quite fruitful and rewarding and slowly but surely, the state of limbo is starting to dissipate.

Teaching dance wasn't the same. I felt that my dance "career" was in limbo as well. It was a place where my expertise and relevance were constantly being questioned or unappreciated or overlooked. I wasn't really up for some of the drama that comes with the territory and when I did surface, somehow drama found me and I just wanted it to "go away". Dancing itself was fun when I danced. It was hard because old injuries aggravated my body so the pain and maintenance after was also tiring. There were moments of light: learning from other instructors, collaborating with some other dancers and many people who told me how much they appreciated what I've done and accomplished (thank you all!).

So here I am, ready to write again. (slowly but surely) which also means ready to re-engage. I'm still taking things slowly but they are starting to change. Limbo is not an option anymore and I'm slowly getting acquainted with who "me" is becoming.

This Thing Called GINGA

If you type ginga on google (at least as of today), you get this on the top:

GINGA IS RHYTHM....in soccer. It's swinging your body from one side to the other to deceive. Ginga is creativity. It's the pedalada and trivela. Ginga is the opposite of boring. It's the opposite of mechanical soccer. It is having fun with the ball. It is grace. It is being fluid and coordinated. IT IS SOUL. IT IS DANCE

damn...that Brazilian has got Ginga!

I love this definition. Sure, its context is mostly in soccer (Brazilian) but for dance, these parts resonate loudly with me:

GINGA IS RHYTHM.

Ginga is creativity

Its the opposite of boring.

Its having fun.

It is grace.

Its being fluid.

IT IS SOUL

IT IS DANCE

Read that and let it soak ... let it simmer and then read on. 

This thing we call Ginga is something that ultimately has to come from inside of us. Your Ginga comes from YOU: the individual, the dance partner moving with someone to the music through dance. 

Since I started dancing Kizomba, I've heard people say that to dance this dance well, "you need to have Ginga". I thought, they are just talking about body movement right?  So I studied how to move my bunda, my feet, my chest... and then someone said, that's not it. So I sought more clarification. Along the way I heard many different definitions for ging and someone described it as styling. So, following my experience with learning salsa, I sought out these ladies styling classes. During my very first set of lessons about "styling", my instructor said: "styling should never interfere with the lead and follow dynamic of the dance."

Since Kizomba is danced in close proximity to your partner, I thought there was a contradiction with learning individual body movement. Why are we learning these movements that we may not be able to use? Unlike salsa where there is so much space to express, there doesn't seem to be any at all in Kizomba where we have to move as one.

Another aspect of ginga also that came to my attention: what's the "right" ginga? I heard people comment about how one person's ginga was not natural and how another's was perfect. When is the movement natural and expressive versus contrived and interfering with the lead? How do you practice it? These were all things I pondered as I worked to find my ginga. I started to ask my friends who led me to let me know how it felt when I applied different movements to my walk. I also asked them to articulate what it was like to dance with different people so I had a point of comparison.

As I focused on this aspect of my dance, I had to redo, undo, retry and try many things as I received coaching from other instructors and peers about what the appropriate body movement is. Some said my body movement was just fine, some said I had too much (those salsa hips going out of control), some said it was too sharp, some said whatever I did was fine. It was quite the conundrum for me. How was I to get validation with so much mixed feedback?

My aha moment arrived when I realized that the reason I was getting so much mixed feedback was because I was trying to hard to dance the way I thought I needed to dance instead of just trusting myself to dance. I was working with another instructor who was trying to explain a nuance in the movement. I was very confused with what he was saying so I just decided to stop thinking and just move with him and he exclaimed - "That's it! You got it."

Many of us suffer from Ginga - Envy: we see someone else's bountiful bunda and the movements resulting from their expression and grace and we want "to be like that". In that moment of wanting to be like someone else, we can easily forget that to truly have ginga, we each have to find OUR OWN way to move with grace and soul.

One part is practicing movements to extend your range of motion and get to know the muscles in your own body and how they can move independently and in concert with other body parts. I call this part the mechanics of understanding your walk and how to flow naturally with it, how to extend movements when the music allows and where it can be extended while still staying connected to another person.

The other part, is learning to love who you are: wobbly bits or skinny bits or whatever you think kind of bits - ALL OF IT. We are each blessed with our own beauty that often times we ignore and to really develop your ginga, you need to embrace all of you. This way, when you move, you move with all the confidence and grace that is uniquely yours.

As you are learning about how to move and how your body works, spend LESS time in the space of "do I look like that person?" and MORE time in the space of  "do I feel and look good about how I move?".

I got this suggestion from my belly dancing instructor when we were working on our "freeze" pose. She said "Don't be afraid to look at yourself in the mirror and try different poses to find your best one." No one is looking so try a pose that highlights everything good about you. Its can be difficult to do (and it sounds so narcissistic) but this exercise of looking at yourself can help to make you appreciate who you are.

I think this might be the hardest part about learning ginga: loving what you can do with your own body. You can take all the movement and styling classes you want and in fact I highly recommend it. But, don't lose sight of the fact that you when you're dancing, you to have love who you are, love how you move, love how it makes you feel and then love how you can connect with your dance partner when you dance.

I Must Be Crazy

Indeed.

I guess this is one of those life experiences that can't be predicted or prepared for. No matter how well you read up or plan or anticipate, sometimes crazy stuff just happens.

Here I am, in pursuit of this idea that I have about cultivating creativity and learning through dance and the other activities I enjoy. I've been looking for opportunities to increase my financial stability as well and have been taking up different types of jobs.

I teach dance (group classes and privates), I teach and assist with arts and crafts for children and I work to manage the operations of a business that provides training in the HR field.

My niece stated at a new Middle School and participated in a volleyball camp which I decided to volunteer for. Just like old times. Its been almost 3 years since I touched  volleyball so I thought, why not? This in turn led me to a coaching position for the Girl's High School JV-C team which then let me to a long term teaching position to teach Math in the 7th grade.

whoa

What crazy? So many things!

Burning both ends of the candle: School starts at 8:00am and I dance till about 1am. Oh buy! I've had to cut back and I'm still testing my limits so we'll see how that goes.

7th graders (12-13 year olds): Ah! God bless all Middle School teachers. What an interesting age and one that I have the hardest time relating to. The great thing is that the school is small enough so I'm getting to know my students - all 52 of them - little by little. Some of them are so adorable and some, well, let's just say that they could use a good spanking.

Grading, Planning, etc: A teacher doesn't just teach, there's grading, planning, advising and so many other things. I'm remembering how balancing all of that with my own other interests can be a challenge.

Free time? I got used to making my own day and just lazing about when I can. Now, there are more deadlines and commitments to keep up. Its not a bad thing, just something to get used to again.

What's the trade off?

Stability for the time being. Money has never been one of the top things that drive me. Don't get me wrong, I know that it's necessary and that I need to live within my means. I too have dreams of not needing to pinch pennies and all that. I do think that the pursuit of dreams requires some strong introspection about the kind of life you want to lead along the way to achieving that dream. I now have a job that pays a regular salary and benefits which helps - a LOT!

Teaching despite all its challenges for me personally provides a sense of giving back to and contributing to someone else's life in a positive way that is quite unique and gratifying. Math is subject that has its own set of negative stereotypes to overcome and what I think the kids I work with are in need of is this need to validate "am I right?".  I do my best to teach them that with Math, you can at least check your work and thus gain the confidence in yourself and your learning. Its just taking those first few uncertain and scary steps to build that skill and confidence. I love it when I can give a kid a high five for acing a math problem they previously thought they couldn't do.

I'm still Dancing! and so the compromise is still workable. We'll see how that goes.

I still get to do all the trips that I planned before I started to teach. It was part of the agreement with the school which is not an easy thing to do because if you teach, you know that being absent during the school year is a big deal. So, I'm here in Manila with my family for the next month, relaxing and recharging a bit while I investigate some possibilities that could lead to more exciting things.

Changes are still on the horizon and my long term plans are far from set. This is certainly not quite what I envisioned for myself 20 years ago or even in high school when guidance counselors, teachers and parents asked me to look ahead.

One thing is for sure, I am a bit crazy to live with all this uncertainty but for now, its working.

Tips for Learning

Being new at something and learning again can be a vulnerable place to be as an adult. There's no shortcut to getting good at something but there is definitely a shortcut to having fun while you're learning. I love learning: it keeps me alive and engages me like no other.

It occurred to me that it would be worth sharing why I feel this way and share some tips to help others who are beginning to learn something new, like dancing for the first time.

Here's what I love about learning:

• Discovery mode: a mode I associate with young children learning about something for the first time. Its a lot of wonder with a lot of "Aha!" with some things that make you go "hmmmmm!" mixed in. 
• I'm back at the beginning which is a place that holds an excitement and energy that only comes with being at the start of something new. 
• Sponge mode: when I'm in learning mode, my mind is more open and focused on absorbing and trying to soak it all in
• Mind blown: When I'm learning, I'm actively connecting dots in my head as I relate what I'm learning with other things that I already know. Every now and again, my brain gets a bit of a twist when I see something in a different light, get a little confused or just have an "aha!" moment.
• Geeking out with others: I'm connecting with other people just like me who are learning.  

You may read this list and think "Um, these are the LAST things that are going through my mind when I'm starting to learn something new."

Well sure, BUT that doesn't mean I don't go through some of the other things that a beginner goes through: 

• Fear of looking like an idiot
• Fear of not being good enough
• Fear of being rejected
• Fear of making a mistake
• Fear of not getting it

And so, my first tip is:

LET GO OF YOUR FEARS AND INSECURITIES.

In my opinion, this is the biggest and most impactful thing you can do. When a child is learning we  tell them that its ok to make mistakes and just focus on learning. Well, that's true for everyone regardless of age. Just because we got a few years older, doesn't change the fact that in a state of learning, you have to cut yourself some slack. In fact, I believe that learning mode connects you to your inner child and well, that's just rejuvenating.

That inner perfection god or goddess that drives you to be good at everything: tell them to take a chill pill and head to the spa for from rest and relaxation. As a student, you're focus should be on learning and absorbing and being part of whatever learning community you find yourself in: even if its is for only one hour every week. 

TAKE ANY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS OUT OF YOUR HEAD

I am a firm believer that once you say "I can't do that." then you create a resistance that hinders your learning. Its fine if you don't believe that something will ever happen - just don't say it out loud and keep the thought suspended for a little bit.

I remember starting lessons with a dance instructor who basically said "By the end of our sessions, you'll be doing this." and proceeded to demonstrate a spin drill. I just laughed out loud and said "Sure, whatever you say." when what I really meant was "Are you crazy? No way!!"

He walked me through the exercise which was hard but doable and well, it took some perseverance over a few months and lots of practice and while I'm nowhere near the level of my dance director (I've been learning from him for that past 5 years), I can definitely do those moves that I thought I laughed at doing in our first lesson together.

PUT THE EGO ASIDE

If you consider yourself an expert at something, anything, then when you're learning something new, you should just put all that aside and become someone "fresh" again. Every experience teaches you something, even if it teaches you that you never want to experience it again. Every master teacher that I've admired and aspired to be is a master student at heart. Learning is not just about how good you are or can be, its also about the process so enjoy it and just immerse yourself in the discovery.

OK, that's the mental part, now for the more practical part of learning.

ONE HOUR A WEEK DOES NOT AN EXPERT MAKE

Life is busy, you've finally set aside one hour a week to learn something and that's a great 1st step. If you're truly wanting to get better at something you'll need to set aside a little more time to absorb and assimilate what you learn. This is especially true of dance.

Part of the fun in learning is the satisfaction that you get knowing that you're getting it and improving. So, for social dancing, acclimating your movements to music is a must if you're not used to it. 

A few minutes a day will make a world of difference on top of  just one hour a week. The constant repetition is key to reprogramming and learning. When you're learning to dance, you have to get used to the movement and then map that to music and it helps to do a little bit every day.

MAPPING MOVEMENT TO MUSIC

Dancing is great because there's this complex thing that happens: you have to move to music you hear and then if you social dance, you have to communicate with your partner how to move with you. When these things align, its a magic moment which you can repeat and enjoy.

Coordinating movement to a rhythm can be done many ways and here's how I like to learn things and it basically starts from the group up:

1. Learn how the feet move AND listen to the music. 
2. Learn the rhythm of the movement AND listen to the music.
3. Learn how the rhythm fits with the music.
4. Learn how the rest of the body moves.
5. Learn the signals to communicate back and forth with your dance partner.
6. Express and have fun with the dance.

The faster you get to 3 above, the better off you are. It doesn't really take a lot - but it does take time. I always recommend counting or sounding the rhythm as quickly as possible to the music. Sometimes you can't do that if you're too busy figuring out how your feet move which is why I recommend getting that out of the way first. So you can do 1-3 above in parallel.

In practicing movement, be more aware of your own body and how it naturally moves. In the beginning, we spend a lot of time mimicking our teachers to look just like them but to truly own your dancing, you have to eventually do what works best for you. You do have to look at the mirror and see what works and it often helps to get feedback from someone you trust and can work with. Mastering techniques for movement is one thing and owning your own movement is another that is equally important.

LEARN TO ASSOCIATE WITH THINGS YOU ALREADY KNOW

If you can say "this feels or looks like something I already know" then you learn things faster. As you increase your vocabulary of movement, learning other movements can become a bit easier by association.

Of course, if you're doing something for the first time, there's nothing to associate with but just remember that you can associate movements or leanings with things that you've experienced in other contexts besides the one that you're learning in.

IT FEELS NEW AND DIFFERENT: YUP! JUST EMBRACE IT

New things can be uncomfortable so you have to embrace being uncomfortable while you learn. When you confirm with your instructor that you're doing what he/she is asking you to do, and it still feels "weird", then just remind yourself that its something new that your body/brain has to get used to.

TRY NOT TO LISTEN TO TOO MANY PEOPLE ALL AT ONCE

People try to be helpful and if they can help you, they will, sometimes without you even asking. That's kind of like getting a ton of advice from everyone while you're still trying to figure things out and it can be overwhelming and confusing. Focus on the instructions of who you're learning from, ask LOTS of questions if you're not sure and just be thankful that everyone is so helpful.

ALWAYS HAVE FUN
"Patience Grasshopper."

That line is from an old TV series call Kung Fu and its what the old master tells the young boy as he tries to master the discipline. It takes time.

Take these tips to heart and the time it takes will pass in no time - at least you'll be having fun while you learn and get better.

Sometimes you will meet and encounter things that are discouraging and negative. Focus on the fun and positive things, cut yourself some slack while you're learning. Remember that struggles are just steps along the way and don't get discouraged. If you do stop having fun, then perhaps a break or pause in the learning might be needed but I recommend pushing through your discomfort anyway and focusing on those times when you have a big smile on your face.

After all is said and done - you have to be happy with who you are and own what you do. This applies to learning how to dance (or anything else): take the learning and make it a part of you.

Opportunity Knocks: I Need Your Vote

Life definitely sends you some funny curve balls.

As I enter my fifth decade, I'm three years into finding and living my bliss and I'm at a crossroads to decide what to do to further my dreams. What comes my way? This opportunity to really make a difference.

Its short notice but what the heck right? The Mission Main Street Grant is a $100,000 grant awarded by Chase to 20 Businesses. (Here's more information about the grant.)

I have a deadline of June 5th to submit answers to five questions AND I need 250 votes by June 19 to make it to the evaluation round to be considered for the Mission Main Street Grant by Chase which will be awarded in September.

If I have helped you in anyway, made an impact on your life somehow, if you want to continue to attend my events and participate in some other new ventures I try, or even if you just like me and want to help -

Click on that button on the top of the page and VOTE now

Feel free to share with others and don't wait, deadline is June 19. Thanks so much for your help.

MY ULTIMATE DREAM
I want to create a Creative Learning Lab that allows people a fun environment to learn, explore and discover themselves with others. I believe that social partner dancing is a key activity that facilitates learning and personal growth and also builds community so I want to teach partner dancing in ways that allow this learning to happen. I also want to create a community that is welcoming and self-sustaining where its members pay it forward to help keep the community thriving. I also want to foster cooperative competition with others like myself who want to to grow through their passions.

RIGHT NOW
My business is teaching partner dance (Kizomba with some Bachata and Salsa) and producing dance and social event for people to learn about Kizomba and connect with a larger community that also enjoys learning, dancing, music and culture. Dancing allowed me to give form to expressing joy through movement with another person and allowed me to participate and give back in a warm and welcoming community so I want to share and facilitate that experience for others.

I'm starting with Kizomba and hoping to grow it past this dance into other dances and other activities that I love: art and cooking. Can you imagine a space where you can do all three? Geek out on whatever you wish or just be a newbie experiencing something for the first time.

HERE ARE SOME THINGS I WOULD DO WITH THE GRANT

• Continue to bring the best instructors here to Seattle for Kizomba and Semba through weekend workshops and social dancing.
• Develop a new curriculum of classes that are focused on musicality to help dancers that have grasped the basics to further their dance. EX: I want to try to find a live band to teach with to help dancers hear elements in the music better.
• Develop other programs that involve teaching dance to help with building confidence and another to help build intimacy in relationships.
• Bring together Kizomba teachers from all over the US to cooperatively discuss how to teach better, how to build community and how to enable cost effective exchange between communities and have this be an annual or bi-annual event. Expand this to different dance eventually.
• Develop a Travel and Exchange Program to help bring dancers closer to the cultural and musical context of the dance.
• Work with the Bachata Seattle team on the same programs to expand the Bachata community. 
• Find a space or work cooperatively with other studios and businesses to promote the art and cooking aspect of my Creative Learning Lab.
• Find business partners with strengths in marketing and sales to help me grow my market reach and monetize my ideas to create a sustainable business.

Following

One of the questions I am often asked is "What makes a good follow?" in social partner dancing. Then, there's also the follow-up: "How do you teach someone to be a good follow?".

There are two core things that I believe to be true for ANY role in the partner dance. I believe that social partner dancing is a way to express what one hears in the music with someone else. For me, the beauty and joy of partner dancing is at its best when the partnership is something that both dancers can enjoy.

1) Understand the rules of the dance and the music. The music drives the dance and different dances have conventions that need to be understood. There's no escaping that you have to understand the music and the dance together. By conventions I refer to things that are foundations like the step pattern if there is one, how to step and move and engage with your partner.

2) Understand my body and how it moves. As a dancer my body is what I use to express, respond and connect in the dance. In order to use it well, I have to know what I can do to move with balance, grace and in the partnership with someone else. To develop this understanding, it means I have to explore different kinds of movement to different kinds of music.

As anyone hooked on dancing will attest to, one can spend a lifetime learning and perfecting these core tenants. This is another reason I love dancing, the process of learning and growing never really ends.

One final ingredient is your mindset.

Here's mine:

I aspire to make every dance I dance as enjoyable as possible with the person I dance with. 

This doesn't mean that I sacrifice myself at the expense of my partner. It does mean that I have an equal say in the dance to make it as fun as possible.

Given that I am already working on the core things above, here are some three main skills that I constantly work on to perfect my following:

LISTEN  - I listen to the music so I can understand what my lead hears in the song. I listen to how my lead moves and "hear" his expression of the  music through his dancing. I develop radars everywhere using my eyes, my limbs etc.

For example, in Kizomba: I pay attention to how my lead steps and moves. What are the signals I can use to know that the step is slow, at tempo, faster. What is the indication for me to turn?  Every step is a new step so I focus on how to understand the different ways my partner is stepping.

In other dances, I look at my partner's body and arm position. There are many other subtle clues to what's coming next and the more I dance and the more I dance with different people, the better I get at reading the signs early so I can be ready to respond and eventually respond with time to play (see Express below). 

MATCH - I do my best to match and flow of his movement while still maintaining my own balance: equal to what my lead is suggesting/asking. When there is too much resistance or not enough connection - I know that something is off so I try to adjust: its not a fight - its a flow. 

Matching sometimes means that I hold off on styling to make sure that I continue the flow that my lead has initiated. Matching also means that sometimes, I mimic what my lead is doing, or pick up partway and make a variation of my own. I counter or change time or move in contrast to something he just did.

Matching also means using the same force and energy that I am led with to complete my movements. It become a cycle while the music plays: energy and movement is absorbed, transformed and then sent back between the partners in the social dance.

EXPRESS - I keep my presence known so that my lead knows that I'm dancing with them to the music. Sometimes that means I yield to the lead's musicality and expression because we're in sync anyway, sometimes it means I suggest something without interrupting their flow. Oftentimes its a combination.

Expression is where I get to be who I am in the partnership and it is where I can share what I hear in the music with my partner. It is where I can do one or more of these things to make the dance I have as much fun as can be, to inspire, complement, enhance or expand the experience for myself and my dance partner.

CHALLENGES
Its only three points but there's a lot within each one and if you keep thinking about all of them at once, well, your brain might explode and your body just freeze with too much to do. There are also so many teachers and helpful souls out there that want to give you advice. Just remember that you know yourself best and give yourself space to learn, absorb, apply and integrate.

Challenges can drive you but they can also discourage you and depending on where you're at in your learning cycle and confidence, it can easily cause you to want to stop dancing. Don't let it. What I recommend is:
1) Have an open mind and be patient. You know the deal, Rome wasn't built in a day right?
2) Be true to yourself and what it is you love about the dance. Its easy to get swayed by other people. This is after all an activity that is very extroverted and feedback from others is always around whether you want it or not. Not all dances will be fun and some of the people you will meet are definitely not your type. When in doubt, look to yourself for validation and find your support system and the people that care about you for help. Don't let some jerk or negative experience define what you do or trap you into something that makes you miserable.
4) Take a break and come back to it when you need. Sometimes, you just need to reset so reset! Dance will always be there and being welcomed back after a long absence can be a very much needed boost to a tired or weary demeanor.

IN THE END ...
My experience with learning is that each of these things are like layers: when one layer becomes so much a part of you that you don't have to think about it anymore, then another layer comes into focus OR you have time to perfect the next layer. Also, as you learn and your sensors and movements become second nature, you're instincts will take over and then BAM! more magic happens.

What I love about following is the I have last word in the interaction and I can influence the next move. I love that as a follow I an open up possibilities for my lead in the dance, whatever level they might be. What I love about partner dancing is when my lead and I are on the same wavelength with what we hear in the music and that we can be ourselves while appreciating and inspiring each other in the dance. 

Compare and Contrast the Beauty in Dance

Its rare that I get a chance to share the two interpretations of couples dancing to the same song in their respective styles. The song is Soha Mil Pasos (in case you wanted to know the lyrics and what them men, check it out here).


The first is by a couple who dance and teach kizomba: Felicien and Isa.

The second is a couple dancing tango to the same song. I wish I knew the names of the couple so I could give them credit. The most I can do is share their beautiful interpretation of the song through dance.

By watching the two videos,  which I feel match the music well, you can see the difference in the movements that are made by the dancers within their respective styles. Kizomba and Tango are often compared to each other and while I made an attempt to compare and contrast the two dances in words, a visual is always better.

I love both Tango and Kizomba. I am more focused on Kizomba for many reason (building community, the music speaks to me more than some Tango music does) but Tango will always have a place in my heart because I love the way the lead and follow interact with each other through their steps, legs and feet. From the waist up the dance is calm and smooth but there is so much going on as they move together. The same can be said for Kizomba.

At any rate, these might help you see why I love these dances and dancing and how there is so much variety in how we dance to music.

Enjoy!

2014 Retrospective - Happy New Year 2015!!

T-20 minutes away till the new year ... that's when I started writing but after being distracted by the barrage of fireworks, I fell asleep before posting this so HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Growing up in Manila, fireworks have always been an integral part of the new year celebration. I remember from when I was very young, in the house that belonged to my grandfather, we would launch our own fireworks in the garden. First there was a gathering of family for dinner followed by fireworks out in the yard. I loved playing with sparklers and watching the explosion of lights in the sky. We had noisemakers to play with and nobody would tell us to stop. Fireworks and making noise are all part of warding of all the ghost and evil spirits to welcome the new year.

When I was about 13 years old, we moved away to our own home and New Year's Eve became a tamer celebration. It was still focused on family dinner but instead of having our own, we would get home before the craziness of fireworks and smoky streets began from everyone else that celebrated with fireworks.

For the first time in I don't know how long, after our family dinner, my brother, sister and I along with cousins of the same generation and a few of the next sat together around our dining room table to share stories of our childhood and what we've been up this past year over wine. 

2014 started tenuously for me. The family had major health issues to deal with and I was re-evaluating some personal relationships. I was dealing with a lot of uncertainty with hope for the best and hurt that needed time to heal. I started the year on slightly unsteady footing with the faith that these things would work themselves out. 

After celebrating the New Year in the Philippines, I headed back to Seattle the next day for one day: enough to pack and get ready for a trip to Reno for a dance festival. I was coming back from three months of being away from dance so I was looking forward to being with my dance family and dancing all weekend long. I ddin't expect to be part of 32 couples from all over the US performing together to represent the Island Touch Dance Academy: that was just epic! It was the start of things to mark my year: dance festivals and travel to cities for dance and recreation.

In February I taught at  festival in LA where I met people from Texas and San Francisco. I don't usually seek out the limelight but I am certainly appreciative of recognition and acknowledgement when they are directed at me so it was really nice to meet people for the first time and hear that they've been looking forward to meeting me. I also discovered that LA has a great salsa scene with some very fun dancers who play with music and connection everytime they dance. 

Mexico City: I never realized how big it was. I had been to Mexico before but to smaller, more tourist oriented locations. I was invited to teach kizomba there for a weekend in March and some other folks from Seattle and LA came along as well. It was our first Mexico City - Seattle Kizomba Exchange. There were many highlights to the trip but these are ones that stand out for me: dancing on pyramids, dancing on a grass lawn in this fairy tale house, dancing outdoors in Belles Artes and meeting people who are kindred spirits in their approach to dance and kizomba.

Shortly after that, in April, I got to travel to Japan: a country that I've admired from afar. I was always fascinated by so many things about Japan: their aesthetic of beauty and simplicity, the samurai code, the world of the geisha, the way they assimilate from others to make things Japanese, origami, ikebana, manga, anime and the cute things best described as kawaii. For such a huge, sprawling city full of people, I never once felt fearful of anything. I finally got to spend some time in an onsen and experienced the peace and tranquility that I only previously read about and imagined. There's so much more to see, I'm definitely going back.

Then we had another family trip to Kauai where we spent a few days in Hana. Its beautiful out there but when the sun goes down and it gets dark, there's nothing to do for us city folk. We stayed at an place right by the water so the sounds of waves breaking against the beach and rain on the roof were my lullabies. There were also so many bugs at night: attracted to the light of my computer when everyone else was asleep. I'm glad bugs don't wig me out so much, I wouldn't have been able to sleep otherwise. I lost all sense of time for a few days.

It was around this time when the uncertainty in January faded and things were definitely taking a turn for the better. I was readjusting to many things: hurts were finally fading and some new relationships were forming to renew my faith in finding people who are a joy to be with and who accept and appreciate me.

For my birthday in May I went to London to spend time with a friend and teacher, to meet and dance with folks that I've only corresponded with over facebook. I hadn't been to London in years so it was great to be back not just to sight see but also to make new friends and grow in my dance.

The summer in Seattle was great but I was stressed because I had to move. I loved living in Belltown and I hate moving but I was presented with an opportunity that was too good to pass up so I purged my belongings (not all of it but a LOT of it) and moved to Wallingford to start the last quarter of 2014.

In October I combined a dance vacation with a mini-high school reunion in DC. I rarely feel as old as I am. When I get together with my high school friends, it doesn't make me feel my age because we pick up from where we last saw each other and enjoy being with each other again (usually over food). Its only when we start to talk about their kids and how some of them are already in college or getting ready to go that I realize how old I really am.

In the fall my sister also helped me to make a connection that allowed me to teach some of my crafts to kids after school. I found a community of parents and children that love arts and crafts and its so much fun to be able to "work" at what I consider play. Its been so much fun and it also reaffirmed one of my ideas to spark creativity in others through a creative lab. 

Over Thanksgiving, instead of time with family, I spent time with my dance families. I attended the Seattle Salsa Congress where I got to perform with my Bachata team, perform with my  mambo team and complete the dance challenge with a group of artist that I've always admired and aspired to be. On top of that, I got to teach Kizomba and see how much its grown over the years here in Seattle. It was totally unplanned and such a kick when the artists that we paid our homage to also got on stage with us to perform. For myself it took the pressure out of the performance so I could just have fun with it and I know how much it meant to some other folks on my team - what a rush! It was a stressful and tiring weekend since I pushed myself with performance and dance. I still got a lot of really great dancing (Kizomba, Bachata and Salsa) while making closer connections with new and existing friends

As 2014 winds to a close, I visited Korea for a few days before returning to celebrate the holidays in the Philippines. I forgot how cold winters can be: thank goodness for advances in clothing technology to keep me warm without the bulk. I discovered some of the history of Korea when we visited the Imperial Palace and that for some reason, it is the land of socks. Markets had stalls that just sold socks: a LOT of them and all different styles and designs. Who knew? I didn't get a chance to try the jijimbang and some other things so that will be on the list for next time. 

That brings us to the present time in Manila where I've spent the last week eating, sleeping, shopping, reading comics, watching TV and catching up with cousins and friends. 

We Chinese believe that whatever you do the 1st of the year is what you will spend the rest of that year doing and so far things are going well. I'm publishing my first blog article of the year, planning some dancing engagements for when I return, enjoying all the facebook greetings and having fun with my nieces and nephews. I'm looking forward to spending some time with my cousins cooking up something new for the year.

Happy New Year and welcome to 2015!!

Doing What You Love Isn't Always Warm and Fuzzy

The common romantic belief about following one's bliss is that the life you lead will be full and filled with goodness. I embarked on my journey three years ago and its been quite a ride.To start, I planned on a few months of just doing nothing in particular. (By the way, doing nothing in particular is a LOT of fun and I highly recommend it.) Certain unforeseen events got me side-tracked for two years after that. I then had some re-adjusting to do and now finally, I'm back on the follow-my-bliss path: more or less.

You know what they say about the best laid plans going astray? Well, it turns out, even plans that are barely laid out do the same.

I've been leaning and growing and reviewing my accomplishments to date. I realized that none of what I achieved was what I had originally planned on. When I found Kizomba, I was already deep into dance and I wanted to use dance as a way to get people more connected with themselves and each other. Kizomba fits in really nicely with that. I also wanted to pursue teaching and coaching as part of my bliss. I had these ideas of building a Creative Lab Space for adults: much like what children have after school - filled with arts and so many other activities that are fun, engaging and something that one might not typically do as an adult because things like careers, school, family and life in general just gets in the way.

A midst the unforeseen circumstances, one such by-product is that I've been instrumental in building a small and still thriving dance scene simply because I wanted more people to dance with. I already invest a lot of time in dancing so I set out to find out more about the dance myself so I could teach others. Instead of travelling the world to learn, I brought some really wonderful instructors here to Seattle instead. So while I haven't really gotten that close to what  I thought I was going to do, I'm still happy with where things are. My experiences have been very rich: both good and bad.

These past few months however, I suffered from a crisis of faith in the pursuit of my bliss. My thoughts aren't all that cohesive yet but at least I'm motivated to write about it. I thought it would be good to share some of my insights into this thing people call "following your bliss".

 1) A Brave New World
Since I started to call myself "fun-employed" I've discovered that there are parts of me that are still learning about what I truly want from life. Its been interesting to separate the things that I thought I wanted from the things I truly want. There's not always a one to one ratio for that either. When I discover that something I thought I wanted or needed was really not mine - mostly like something I learned from my parents or the culture I grew up in - its not like there is a corresponding "OK, this is what I do want" that pops up immediately. Most of the time, I have to figure that out. So all that figuring out can be tiring and taxing and disappointing.

Doing something fun is not necessarily the same thing as doing something you are passionate about. I find a LOT of things fun and sifting through those fun things to figure out what really drives me isn't  easy.

 About 20 years ago, I worked with a career coach to find that thing that I could be passionate about and focus on since I found myself unhappy with the job that I was in. He concluded that I have a rare challenge. He said that because I am good at many things, I don't have one thing that drives me. As a consequence, traditional jobs will not satisfy me and to be truly happy, I will eventually have to craft my own job. Its an exciting prospect, but there isn't really anyone to follow or a template that I can use to give me guidance on where to start or even a measurement of whether I've achieved success or not. That's the price of making something up. The good thing is also the bad thing: there's no one to say what's right or wrong except for myself.

 2) Doing What You Love Might Become Overbearing
I am engaged in teaching and learning dance because dance has helped me in so many ways and I believe it can help others just as much. I get feedback that I am helping others all the time. But, recently, I've also realized that, in the sea of people that I know, I sometimes feel all alone.

I made it a practice to be actively grateful and this has been invaluable for me (I highly recommend it). There are times though, when the challenges I face and the people around me are simply too much to deal with. At their worst, I want to just hide in a shell or wish everything bad to go away or dream that someone will just make all those worries go away.

I do know that that someone is me (with some support from friends and family).

This is not the same thing as getting sick and tired of something and that doing what I do for fun as a job has made it less fun. I still love what I do. Its just when its consumes me both good and bad, its quite a lot to deal with. Which brings me to my next point: Support System and Balance

3) Support System and Balance
Somehow, my mind concluded that if I were pursuing my bliss, there would be no need to pay attention to balance because I would be blissful right? Well, not entirely.

The execution and day to day workings of all of the above take its toll and I do have to think about balance and support. I am blessed to have family and friends that I can count on. They love me and accept me for exactly what I am and they don't pull punches. They know when to just be there and they know how to push me forward if I need it.

 I'm also blessed to have encountered people that have given me inspiration, new ideas and encouragement in the most unexpected ways. I think of it as validation from the universe that I'm doing well.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that even though I'm doing what most people might only dream of trying, it still takes energy and it still requires a support system and balance. Definitely. Don't go at it alone and always find ways to recharge and stay excited about what you do.

4) And the Money Just Follows
No, not really.

 There's work to be done unless you're a trust fund baby, unexpectedly win the lottery, find a sugar-person that just wants to fund you as you live your life... you get my drift. I'm still working on defining my product and what I have to offer. Then, there's finding the audience that will compensate me for it and building the message to attract them and keep them with me.

While these things are common sense, they take time: trial and error, a little bit of luck and good timing.

5) Get To Know You
In the end, it boils down to me. Whether I'm doing that traditional career path that I learned from my upbringing or following my bliss, the buck stops here, with me.

When setting on the path to finding your bliss, it helps to have some awareness of you who are. Its not just about knowing what's fun and what makes you happy. Its also knowing what you value, what you stand for, what you can live with, what makes you feel joy and what you just don't want in your  life.

I had a pretty good idea of all these things when I started but the experiences I've had over the last three years have definitely tested the conviction behind my beliefs and actions. There are things that I have done to the best of my abilities that did not have a pretty ending. Imagine a scenario that tests your values and you don't even know what they are. Its takes time to figure out what you value and then time to put it through the wringer. Doing both at the same time can be exhausting.

So before you embark on your path to bliss, just make sure you do some homework about yourself.

Looking Forward to Meeting You

I'm miss you and I'm not sure if I've met you yet. I know you're out there because I feel you around me all the time.

Sometimes I wake up and it feels like you were just there with me.

I get the sense that you're near when I am with my friends. The people with whom I can just be myself. The ones that still care for me whether I'm happy or sad; scared or brave; angry or crazy; at my worst or at my best. 

I think about how much fun we'll have with my sister and her family: playing with my niece and nephew, eating, making jokes about poop, drawing ninjas, watching movies, trying the zipline, doing all sorts of things with them for the first time. I can't wait for you to meet my family.

I laugh with you when I laugh with my friends: at the silly jokes, or the funny stories or even when a laugh is needed to lighten the mood. I love your sarcastic wit and how we both appreciate irony when we see it. I love that you sometimes make me go "hmmmm" without making me feel less than myself. 

I connect to you when I dance: when I move in unison with someone, to the music, free to express myself within the framework of what is led. Even though we might not hear the same things in the music, I listen to your voice and you hear mine and we work through things together so seamlessly. its as if we already know the music even though we've only heard it for the first time.

I hear your support for what I do through the stories that are shared by the people I've touched. I feel you there, cheering for me when I'm tired and letting me vent when I'm too tired to filter out the noise. I hear your voice echoed in voices of my friends and family when they encourage me to continue, acknowledge my strengths, recognize my worth, ask me for help and take what is offered and hug me all the time.

I imagine you somewhere nearby, in the quiet moments that pop up where I can enjoy the beauty of what's around me from the sun setting over the bay, to the fog that shrouds the streets or to the some remote beach somewhere I haven't been yet.

I look forward to all the new things we'll discover together or the things you'll show me and I can share with you. I look forward to geeking out with you over the things you care about, the things I get all silly crazy excited about and even better, the things we both find so cool.

I know you'll be there for me no matter what. You know you can rely on me to be there for you. We'll be each other's support while still challenging each other to do something different and refreshing. You listen when I just vent and every now and again you'll vent along with me just to show your support. When I need a slap upside the head, you'll bring me back to center.

I feel like I'm with you when I'm with the different people I already know. I see you in that charming, hunky guy that I have a crush on, the artsy guy I admire, the leads I love dancing with and the friends who are always there for me. You love and appreciate me just as I am. I know you're out there somewhere and I can't wait to be with you. I can't wait to be home. 

Sometimes...

Sometimes, people just want to make me scream!

And then something happens to restore my faith.

Don't you love how that works out?

I do!

Some Thoughts About A Growing Community

I've been lucky enough to be blessed to be a part of Seattle's growing kizomba community from the beginning. I started out as student of the dance and as I continue to learn and grow, I have also become teacher, event promoter and friend to many of the people I have met and introduced this dance to.

I remember when my only opportunity to dance kizomba was once a week (if that) and with less than ten people at the most. Back then our little group was special because we were learning and growing together and figuring out this dance that we knew people would also enjoy, waiting for the chance to share it with everyone else.

A year later I started to explore learning from other teachers and had the pleasure to meet Eddy Vents and Petchu.  Within that year, I was given the chance to start teaching a weekly series at the Century Ballroom and through a combination of luck and a lot of love, Century Ballroom decided to also host a monthly dance every first Friday of the month. I was worried about a DJ and then some people stepped up to bat. This dance started out with barely ten loyal couples and now after after two years, there is an average attendance of 65 people with over 100 at its best. I've seen the community grow and have had the privilege to meet many dancers just as enthusiastic about dancing as I am. My dream of having more people to dance with has come true.

We've come a long way: we now have an event every week and even multiple events on the same day. How cool is that?

Why then are some people complaining or worried? There have been a few people concerned that too many events, especially on the same day, will dilute and split the community.

My short answer is that it might but I don't think so. Events where people have fun will continue to do well and events that are not fun will eventually stop. I've been a part of other communities that grow and change and evolve over time and none of them have gone away, all of them still thrive today tho I am no longer as involved in some of them.

Communities continue to grow as more people join and become involved in continuing what they love about the community. As we grow smaller groups form within and sometimes, there are shifts and changes but overall, in order for a community to thrive, it has to have growth and it has to have members that are willing to give back and support the community.

I don't think kizomba is a temporary phenomenon here in Seattle. I don't know if we will ever become as big a community as say London: London is one of the top ten largest cities in the world after all. I do know that this dance brings people together in a way that I haven't seen because of the intimacy and sense of caring that you feel when you're dancing in someone's embrace.

I started to share this dance for selfish reasons: I wanted more people to dance with and I wanted to bring the instructors and experts here to Seattle to learn from them. In the course of doing so, I discovered much joy in sharing dance and decided to develop and forge a path for myself that is intricately tied to dancing and sharing that joy in dance with as many people as I can.

I believe in the power of free will and choice. We are all free to choose what we do and where we go and how we want to spend our spare time to enjoy something we love to do.

When I host events, I do so with the thought of bringing together as many people as possible to have a great time. For me, that means having everyone at the same party and here in Seattle, that's very possible because we are not so big that we wouldn't all fit in one place to dance the night away. I do my best to accommodate the community we have. The larger our community grows, the more diverse the requirements are for having a party everyone can go to so its not that simple any more.

I can only hope that others who put together events and bring people together around kizomba, take a little care and attention to find out what else is going on in order to ensure that people know what opportunities they have AND that we can all be at the same party together.

If there are multiple events on the same day, then a choice has to made and that is a good problem to have every now and again.

Spontaneity is a great thing and its possible in a small community such as we have today. I think its awesome that someone can post on the wall and say "Let's go dance somewhere." and there are enough people to respond to make it happen. On the other hand, spontaneity can lead to creating factions within us: those that are "in the know" versus not. To be invited to a spontaneous event, one has to know or be connected to or be friends with the spontaneous people.

All together these situations: multiple events on the same day and spontaneous events that occur on off the cuff; are things that happen as a result of growing communities. What matters more is what the members of the community choose to value and how they operate within the community.

I'm told that whether I like it or not, I'm seen as a leader in the community. My actions can be interpreted in ways I don't intend. Its an interesting position to say the least. I'm not you're typical "life of the party". I love what I do, I love the people I meet and I care that the events that I produce, the classes that I teach and the people I work with, and interact with get the best possible experience they can.

So if I have any clout at all to pull, then here are some things I'd like to share for everyone to consider.

Ask yourself why you love this dance and let that guide you in your actions and words. If idealogy about economics or cultural pride drives you, then perhaps dancing is not the forum for you to express that. Dance is for everyone and we all come to it and need it for many reasons: to think that can be controlled is a bit unrealistic. Making a living through dance and dancing as a hobby are equally important. When the dance is presented, one hopes that people are open to learning about its origins and history but that is not a requirement. I love this dance because it brings me a sense of intimacy that I think is missing in many or our every day interactions. I love this dance because it has taught me so much about myself and other people. I love what I do because I get to enrich other people's lives and help them discover themselves through their love of the dance. I value what I have to offer and appreciate that there are others who support me and find value in what I do.

We are still growing and there is enough for everyone to reap benefits from. If we grow the larger pie together then our slices will grow accordingly. Slicing up a small pie results in small pieces. When we grow kizomba so big that having five events on the same day doesn't matter, then we all win.

Never take one person's word about something, even if it is someone you trust. There are always multiple sides to any story and I can tell you from experience, even coming from the parties directly involved, the stories can come out like they weren't even about the same incident. Everyone deserves a second chance and I for one would appreciate them since I too make mistakes. Your experience first hand is the most important experience so taking someone's word about something takes that away from you.

Consider giving back in some way to something that has given you joy. Part of the joy in experiencing something is in giving back what you receive: just like paying it forward. Thanks to those of you that do, it makes for a better and kinder place and its one of the reasons why our Seattle Kizomba community is warm and welcoming.

Operating from fear, bolstering your own ego and self preservation is not the most pleasant way to live your life. I practice everyday to spend more energy in appreciating what I have and not falling into the "why not me?" sink hole. I don't have the perfect relationships with everyone but I do treasure the ones that I have that sustain me. I do my best to celebrate the successes of others, including my own. I believe one should acknowledge what is already here in front of you even as you make your mark. The world goes on with or without us and even though some people take actions that I would not, they still have their free will and there is nothing I can do to control it. What I can do is be true to who I am, find a good friend or two who can let me vent when I need to and treat everyone else with respect. I try my best to operate from a place of generosity and joy which is not always easy when I feel like being snarky or when I feel like I've been disregarded or undervalued. I think, if we choose what we love over what we fear, then we get what we love.

Tales from My Travel Adventures: Impressions of Japan

I'm writing this in reverse order a bit. I've recently been to Mexico City and then Japan with no real time to write and reflect in between so in the wee morning hour of my slightly modified schedule, I decided to a least write about my most recent visit to Japan.

I finally made it to Japan! This is a country I've dreamed about visiting since I first read manga. I've wanted to see this place that I've imagined after reading about geisha, ninja, samurai and all the countless manga that captured my imagination.

After arriving at Haneda airport close to midnight, we took the train to Shibuya where we were met by our airbnb host. Stepping out of the Shibuya train station, I was immediately reminded of BladeRunner (starring Harrison Ford) with towering buildings peppered with neon signs and larger than life video displays of Japanese advertising. When we arrived at Shibuya, it was almost midnight and it was still busy and a bit overwhelming. I thought I had been to big city before but this sprawling train station (one of the biggest in Japan) was nothing compared to what I had been to before.

Here's the thing that was a wonder for me. Here I was: in a foreign place, late at night, not quite being able to navigate my way around and : it still felt safe. Such a stark contrast to my first time arriving in New York City when I took the Amtrak Train.

Everything in Japan has some sort of cuteness, even the adult sections that I saw still had this level of cute that is just pervasive here. I totally get it!

Japan (at least from what I've seen) is an interesting juxtaposition of newness and tradition. Shibuya is a modern metropolis: the city itself seems alive with all its lights and sounds. Yet the people here that go to work or school wear what look like uniforms. Then there are a few that I can only describe as Japan punk: colored hair, stylized ward robe and outrageous shoes. There is food and shopping everywhere and its open very late (my kind of place).

From there I went to Kyoto: land of temples and shrines and geisha. The city is huge an the station even more enormous! You could spend a full day just exploring and shopping in the station.  There is part of Kyoto that is modern and then the part of Kyoto that I imagined from tales of samurai, ninja and geisha. The shrines are beautiful monuments of architecture, simplicity and majesty surrounded by the peace of nature, tho at the time we were there, often interrupted by the raucous tourists and school children that came to visit as well. It was jarring at times - being in such a quiet reflective place and then having all the people and noise.

I took a short visit to an onsen to get a taste for the hot baths out somewhere scenic. It was such a beautiful day to go and even tho I only spent a few hours, it was well worth the visit. Kurama is a small town, still very much a rural Japanese town located alongside mountains with breathtaking views. It was magical.

The train system is crazy! Its like the lifeline for the bustling metropolis. Seas of people navigating through it every day all the time. Stations that have 35 or more exits. It gets you everywhere.

The food is just amazing. I didn't even try everything that I wanted to.

One of my best days was spent in Ueno Park when it was nice and quiet. We were in search of cherry blossoms and only found a few trees but it was so much fun to walk through the place, eat soft ice cream, watch my niece and nephew play with their newly bought Totoro plush toys and explore the nearby market. That evening I made some new friends when I connected with someone through a mutual friend. I was able to teach kizomba and even though it was a small class, we had so much fun and I got to meet several people who share the same mind set as I do about dance and how it can break boundaries and cross music genres.

These are just a few of my impressions from my one week stay. I left feeling like there was so much more to do an I will definitely be back. In the meantime, I am back in Seattle, in the comfort of my own bed, dreaming of all my wonderful experience and looking forward to more.

Took a TON of pictures in my facebook album: Adventures in Japan.

Tango on a Monday Morning

I recently discovered a Daylight Tango Practica that runs from 11:00am to 2:00pm. Its the second time I've gone and each time has proven to be filled with wonderful surprises. I would like to write a longer piece but here, I'll try to capture some random moments instead:

• A woman married many many years to her childhood friend going through a divorce
• A lovely brunch with 2 women and a hunk of a waiter to flirt with
• Lessons on boleos (apparently I've been wound up too tight)
• A playful dance that lasted for many songs
• Conversations about a range of topics starting with Depeche Mode - so refreshing!
• Still shocked that someone would think that I'm twenty-something
• Tango exercises (its hard to get the kizomba out of me now)
• Its good to change up your routine 
• Depeche Mode as a tango Enjoy the Silence Tanghetto (sweet!)
• Its lovely to start off the dance when someone says "I was hoping you would still be here to dance with you"
• Further refinement of the tango hold
• Freshly baked sourdough bread
• Berretin - an obsession
• I wonder what I would feel like if ever I passed on an opportunity to make millions
• More free parking in Capitol Hill

Randomness on a Rainy Day

Every now and again, my brain flies from thought to thought without much rhyme or reason - at least none that I can figure. I thought I'd just put them to writing and see what happens.

My thoughts.... they swirl .... going all over the map.

I hear a podcast about how someone was inspired and saved by dance while I'm writing my book outline and I think I need to connect to this person because he's an example of what I'm writing about how dance changes people.

I'm trying to capture my philosophy on dancing so that if someone were to ask about me and my teaching for dance, it would reflect that. I want to build on the layers and layers of fun, awareness, growth and joy that comes from dancing.

A message about plans for later tonight: looking forward to catching up with someone that's a long time coming.

Looking at the time: dear lord! its already 3pm and wait, we loose an hour which means more daylight - hurrah!

Looking at the pile of socks I've accumulated to make sock animals...boy that's a lot of socks. Reflecting back on my crafting day with a friend and realizing the older version of dream I considered and wondering why I never pursued it. Perhaps I should.

Listening to kizomba music and thinking about the new series of posts I'm writing on balance, posture and tension. So many images in my head, I wish I could find a way to animate it all. Dance is so dynamic and I see it in colors and swirls of light. With kizomba there's a warmth and intimacy that I don't feel with any other dance. This is why its drew me in and captured me. This is why I want to help other see what it can be like to dance in another's embrace, very close, from the outside moving as if one but really communicating so flawlessly through touch.

I think it would be wonderful to find a partner in that same way. Someone that feels like home. Someone I can just be myself with. Like the dance, someone that draws me in, captivates and holds me in a comforting embrace.

Looking forward to time with my sister and her family for dinner and maybe bringing my sock animals over to share with the kiddos. Hmmmm, maybe I should just make more sock animals.

Rats - I forgot to drink more water again! Wait, just remembered another idea for my write.. gotta add pictures and diagrams.

ok.. now I AM going to make another sock animal.... brb

AND that's done... oh my! Its time to head out now but I thought I'd share my new sock creation. He's a fish.

And Then... It Just Clicked

In the last few months, I've learned a lot about myself and my relationships with family and friends. I've been processing and settling down from all the new information so it was difficult to write a post. I had started many drafts and now, finally, I'm able to share.

The end of 2013 was punctuated by these major events: an emergency at home, a realization that a significant relationship in my life had some serious issues and a lot of uncertainty about what would be happening in 2014. These events along with many others have helped me grow in a way I hadn't really anticipated.

In the last months in 2013 through early 2014, I was not my happy, positive self. I was worried, uncertain, hurt, heartbroken and confused. For someone like me, these feelings feel alien. I do not like feeling this way, in fact I work hard to get out of these states as quickly as I can. To have them all at once made me fell like I was undersiege and navigating through unknown territory. I also spent the last six weeks of 2013 in the Philippines to be with my mom and dad. This kept me from my usual activities and avenues of support. I wasn't sleeping well, I wan't dancing and I was holding tension in my body all the time. I was totally off kilter.

Thankfully, there were bright joyful moments in the mix. These moments brought palpable relief - I am so grateful for all of it. I met my adorable, almost 1 year old niece for the first time. She is friendly and so expressive: her smile just melted my heart. I was also able to catch up with high school friends: learning about their lives and new ventures was so much fun. It was wonderful to see how happy my father was with all three generations of our family being together for Christmas and New Year's.

So, here I was, felling battered and bruised and because I was trying so hard to keep from getting sucked into the negative void, I ended up creating a barrier that kept me from relaxing back into the lighter side of life.  I found myself more critical, very guarded and not at all joyful. I mean I had moments of  joy but the joy was so temporary.

I thought when I got back from the Philippines, I would re-center myself. I went to a weekend long dance festival to get some joy back. There certainly was that: it was such a joy to dance again and to get hugs and "we missed you!" from friends. I also had a chance to impact some people in a meaningful way by helping them to learn about kizomba. Their feedback on how I was able to make a difference was heartwarming.

Despite all this there was still something missing. I fell sick with the flu for about a week and then I'm not really sure what exactly happened, but something clicked.

Maybe the fever took with it some of the heaviness in my state of being. I finally was able to see that I was operating from a place that I didn't want to be in. I was interpreting everything based on not wanting to be hurt, not wanting to be confused and not wanting to be disappointed. In the end, I know something clicked when my friend made a suggestion that I could finally hear and absorb. The suggestion was to envision a future - no holds barred - of something that I wanted that would make me feel joyful again.

They say that you reflect back the fears that you have in your heart. If you approach something being fearful of getting hurt, you only see the hurt because you're watching out for it so carefully. I was stuck in this state and because I felt so "battered" I ended up curling into a ball and I couldn't see past where I was. Being in that moment was not the answer. So now, I'm finally able to let go of the hurt, disappointment and turn down my defensive mode so I can focus on stepping into an open canvas to start expressing my own truth and helping others find their happy path (with dancing feet whenever possible). 

Adventures in Nicaragua: Blessings From A Dancing Frontier

I've been teaching kizomba for almost three years now and while I don't have direct access to the roots of the dance being so far away from Angola and Portugal, I am still learning every time I dance and teach it.

Helping to grow the dance in Seattle has helped me learn so much beyond just dancing. I started out with a wish to have more people to dance kizomba with, to share why I love this dance so much with others, to learn from danceres that aspire to dance like or with and to be able to start teaching dance. The journey so far has opened up many opportunities and blessed me by crossing my path with so many generous and amazing people. I was at the forefront of this huge wave that still has all these rippling effects.

It hasn't been all goodness and light, there have been some hard lessons along the way which have helped me learn more about myself and how to deal with others who do not always share the same beliefs and work ethic.

I'm so lucky that I was able to experience being at the forefront again.

I was recently in Nicaragua for their Salsa Congress to teach and perform kizomba. It was a lovely experience. Most memorable because the people I met and taught and danced with were generous, grateful and hungry to dance.

I didn't know this before I went there: salsa, bachata and kizomba are all relatively young dances in Nicaragua. They have not been dancing salsa for a long time like we have here in the US. So, without realizing it, I had the pleasure of seeing and being a part of a growing and thriving dance scene for salsa, bachata and hopefully, kizomba.

In Nicaragua, salsa has not been around for very long. They are dominantly Casino (Cuban) style salsa dancers. Linear dancing (as they call it) or dancing on a slot is a new phenomenon for them. Its only been around about 3-5 years. Dancing on2 has only been around for the last few months! On top of that bachata is also new, maybe 1-2 years old. And Kizomba? Its brand spanking new. I had the privilege to be one of the first people to expose these dancers to this beautiful dance.

I was met with such welcome and generosity, it was impossible not to be infected by it. What I walked into is a community of dancers so hooked on dancing, so thirsty for it that their hunger to learn and desire to dance and joy in dance was like a splash of cold water in a hot, dry desert. Such a blessing to be a part of. It made me so thankful for the opportunity to help shape their dance experience. It wasn't just about introducing kizomba (which was so exciting in itself), It was also a gift to be a part of a community that just loves to dance.

It made me realize how easy it is to take for granted and how lucky I am that I have access to all this dancing here in Seattle, in the US. For them, they are just starting and so hungry for more. Its like being with kids and their unadulterated joy in discovery and play.

I could see them struggle with the differences in movement between salsa and kizomba. Some of them took to it right away, others were fighting against body movements that they just conditioned themselves to do.

I don't often like to claim responsibility for a lot of things that I do because they don't just involve me, they involve other people too. I do think of myself as a positive catalyst for change. The idea that I could influence someone else's dancing so that they eventually incorporate dance in to their lives and derive from it all its joys is just too cool for words. I love seeing people blossom through dance and its even more gratifying to be able to introduce it and plant dance seeds.

Signs

I'm a big believer in looking for signs.

If you've ever read The Alchemist by Paul Coelho, you'll know where I'm coming from.

[A quick side story about how I discovered the book and why it had such an impact on me.]
I read the book during a HUGE turning point in my life. This turning point occurred when I realized that something that I believed was impossible (as in "this would never happen to me") became possible. It made me ask "Are there other things that I thought were impossible that really are possible?"

Whoa.

That thought was like an explosion in my head. It blew away some walls that led me to explore art and travel and spend four months doing things that fell into the "its not important, I can do that later when I have time" category. Turns out those things are important and thank goodness I was in a mind space to realize it and do something about it. Since the, I've been breaking down my "impossible" barriers little by little.
[end side story]

Another thing that resonated so well with me from The Alchemist is encapsulated in this sentence:

"And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." 

The universe also sends you signs. What can be challenging is all this noise that can get in the way. The universe is screaming at you and you just can't hear from all the noise.

Signs are out there, you just have to be open to them. Like the song says:

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes 

I saw the sign 

Life is demanding without understanding 

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes 

I saw the sign 

No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong... 

But where do you belong? 

I saw the sign and it opened up my mind! 

Lately, I think the universe has been screaming at me and I've just now started to hear. I was finding myself in a bit of a rut. Nothing major but I was wallowing a little bit in my own little "woe is me" world and waiting for some savior to come charging in on a white horse to save me. 

Lots of lovely little things remind me that despite the difficulties I've experienced and my own personal drama (the stuff I create and succumb to every now and again), I do have the faith in myself and lots of love from friends and family to help me. Sure, I expect I'll lapse into "woe"dom every now and again, but I'll rebound a little quicker each time. 

I still want someone to come charging in on a white horse ... but not to save me, more to like swoop me up to ride the horse wherever I'm going or perhaps dismount to join me on whatever ride I'm on. Maybe, its more that I want someone to come riding in on a motorcycle (like the TRON cycle, ooo, how cool would that be?). Or, maybe, its more like I'm the one that's helping people to be open to the possibility of being swept off their feet and somewhere along the way, that special someone will join me in the dance.

I don't claim to have the answer because I believe, everyone has a different question that drives them. 

Its just like Curly says from the movie City Slickers::

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is? [points index finger skyward] This.

Mitch: Your finger?

Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean shit.

Mitch: But, what is the "one thing?"

Curly: [smiles and points his finger at Mitch] That's what you have to find out.

I do believe that I have some experiences that I can share to help people find out what that question is for themselves so they can pursue the answer. It will come as no surprise if I tell you that sharing dance is a big part of that. I like the sound of  "changing your world, one dance at a time" 

I invite you to take a moment to engage in something that brings you joy or do something new to open up your mind to possibilities: to listen to the universe and the signs that are coming your way.