Connections: The Ultimate High (Part 4 of 4)

(Part 4 of 4 on Connections. Here's Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3)

Once in a while, a connection comes along that's in a class of its own. Its that undefined, unpredictable spark of chemistry which sometimes occurs between 2 people and when it happens while dancing, the experience is quite electric.

I'm not sure if this connection will feel exactly the way I describe for everyone - I imagine there are differences but the general gist will still be the same.

The Electric Connection
If ever there were "movie moments" in real life, this would be one of them. You can't predict or anticipate it. All of a sudden, there is it! At the beginning, the dance feels like its going to be a "mwah!" connection and then, suddenly, a spark! There's a subtle but very distinct swirl in the energy and I can remember thinking, "what just happened?" at the end of the song.

Yes, this is that inexplicable age old "magic" between a guy and girl and the experience is quite unique when it happens during a dance. The stage is already set complete with leading lady and man. Music is already playing and both are already in close proximity with each other because of the dance. Time stands still and there a new energy that exists which hints of the soft fluttering wings of butterflies. If one could see energy at that moment,it would be like fire flies fluttering about.

The dance itself becomes more of the backdrop and when its over, what comes next is a huge adventure of its own.

This connection has only happened a few times in my life so far and when its happened it has certainly made life quite interesting. In one case just for that brief moment and in another with longer lasting effects.

Here's my conclusion: when it does happen soak it up and enjoy it. I mean its quite euphoric after all. Yes, this spark can mean the beginning of a fulfilling partnership off the dance floor but I would suggest postponing major decisions until after the energy settles back to normal levels AND you get to know each other beyond just dancing.

Dancing's Connection to Me
There is nothing quite like partner dancing that can express the perfect harmony of music and movement inspired by 2 people. The feelings generated when dancing with such wonderful connections are so amazing. The after effects stick around long after the dance itself has ended. You feel good, your partner feels good and it just keeps propagating.

There is one last connection I'd like to point out and that is the connection to self.

There's a lot I've learned through dance and it continues to teach me still. The big thing I didn't expect was how dancing teaches me to just be me and celebrate that.

I remember about a year into learning to dance salsa, I was contemplating what to do with it. I was taking lessons and going out once, maybe twice a week to social dance. I wondered if I would ever be good enough because I wasn't pleased with my styling: I didn't feel like I was any closer to being as swanky or sexy or svelte as some of those other dancers on the floor who seemed to own the dance.

Someone dear to my heart, also a dancer with whom I've always had a "mwah!" connection with, gave me some advice that turned everything around and helped me continue. Basically what he said translates to this: find your own voice in the dance.

It took me a few more months before I realized that I was trying too hard to dance like other people. I needed to trust in my own sense of self and movement and connection to the music. Before long, I started to bring forward other things from my dance background that I loved:elements of ballet, tango, jazz, swing and most recently belly dancing. Dancing turned into this wonderful interaction where I could express myself through movement, interact with other people, enjoy music, get hugs, compliments and help other people feel good all at once.

Following also taught me to clear my head of any preset expectations or try to 2nd guess the lead. Because of this, there is no room to think about all these "what ifs", I could simply be in the moment with no judgement: the feelings, touch and movement were the true indicators of whether or not the dance was successful.

A non-dancing friend asked me why I love it so much. I said that when I dance, I get to flirt with the boys, get compliments from them, I get my exercise, lots of hugs and I feel great! Not only that, I can help someone else feel good too. I've met some amazing people and continue to grow and learn while having a great time.

What's not to like?

When people tell me how much they enjoyed watching me and my lead dance because we were so good and having so much fun - that just rocks. I dance for the joy it brings: to be able to connect to others who aren't dancing with me to share that joy is always so gratifying.

When you have a good connection, its easy to have a great time dancing. That what I always strive to give and what I love to get back.


"Life is a dance. Sometimes we lead, sometimes we follow. The clearer the communication, the better the dance. The music may change so you just have to learn how to adapt and be flexible. Sometimes it's fast and really “up”, sometimes it's slow and sensual. But when you get really present and in the moment, it's just soooooo easy." ~Pamela Marshall

Fall Reflection: One Door Closes, Another One Opens

I love the fall! It's just as vibrant as the summer. The warmth of the yellows, oranges and reds of the changing foliage light up the landscape. The cool, crisp cold air now accompanies the sunny days. The colors of the sunset somehow seem a bit more vibrant despite dropping temperatures and shorter days. Despite the fact that I have to put away my sandals, tank tops and shorts; its a good time. The fall is a time for reflection, another change, a new year is coming while the old one winds down.

Sometimes that reflection makes me melancholy because I remember some things that I love that are no longer meant to be.

But, as the saying goes: when one door closes, another one opens. The universe (or higher being or whatever it is you believe in) never ceases to amaze me by providing new experiences for me to revel in, so I don't get stuck wanting something that is no longer within my reach.

Last night was one such experience.

In my salsa journeys, while exploring music, different styles and different instructors I became aware of sub-cultures [I'll write more about that another time]. I've met so many great people but discovered that these people didn't all get along! Salseros consist of casineros, the la style dancers, the on1's, on2's...I'm sure I'm still missing a few.

I started dancing rueda - which is basically casino style but in a circle, where there's a caller that calls out steps which the circle performs. I love it because its partner dancing with a group and you get to dance with everyone in the circle. There's something satisfying about the coordinated movement as well as the lip-smacking goodness of traveling and going in and out of this circle in unison.

This led me into one of the sub-cultures: the casineros who dance the cuban style salsa. They have such zest for the music and dance - you can hear them singing and exclaiming their enjoyment as they dance. Its infectious :)

I love dancing both casino and LA style and often lament on the fact that I can't have both in one place and that the people I like who dance one and the other don't really mix. Not only that, there seemed to be a dominance of the LA style in the "mainstream" and a lack of awareness for the cuban style. I would really like to see one venue with a little bit of something for both and an equal way for one side to learn more about the other.

Last night was a baby step in getting to that.

Last night at the Century I was able to dance with some of my favorite casino leads, salsa leads (on1 and on2) and it ROCKED! AND - there was a performance of Casino and an impromptu performance of Rueda (that I was able to join in on)

Until I figure out a better way to embed the video from facebook - here it is!


A wonderful congruence of dancing styles (casino, LA, on1, on2, cha-cha, merengue, bachata) and an experience I hope to repeat - where I can dance every style and type that I enjoy, with my favorite leads and some new ones - all on the same night :)