Bursting

I've started and stopped writing a post everyday for the last week now. I think its time to publish something. I've held back mainly because its been all about dancing. In the last 3-4 weeks I've been attending workshops and out social dancing. I thought that it would be boring to just post about dance all the time.

Then I realized that its not just about the dancing. My head is bursting from all sorts of things that I've been so lucky to be a part of. So, here it is, the recap.

GRATITUDE
I've hit a new level of understanding about myself.

I used to worry so much about missing out on something or about offending people by saying "no thanks". I even worried about no longer being included if I said "no" too many times! It took up too much energy and it detracted from the enjoyment of the things that I do.

Now, I've realized that its good to be faced with so much opportunity - one simply can't go wrong with making a choice. I'm just so grateful for everything that I'm a part of.

I've been working on letting go of remnants from the past that prevent me from moving forward. I've incorporated a little meditation in my practice and in part of that process, I give thanks to the universe at large for these things that bring me joy. Its only been a few weeks and already I can see that spending the time to think about and articulate what brings joy and harmony into my life has only allowed more of that to come through. By acknowledging that part of my life so explicitly, it can overshadow the negativity that can so easily bring me down.

What's more important to me? Worrying about the past or about things that I cannot control or reveling in the present opportunities I have to continue to grow and be joyful?

I choose joy.

WHOOSH!
I use this word to describe those times when I get a rush, a thrill, that puts me on such a high that when I remember the moment, always brings a smile on my face.

I have been lucky enough to experience such moments on the dance floor.

On one of my nights out, in that "one more dance" moment, I accepted an invitation to dance.

It began very politely with the "introduction" - I could already tell he was experienced enough to "test the waters" before diving into the dance. As the song began its rise, he began to expand his lead, to play with the music and add in more moves. We were well matched: we hit all the right beats and matched the increasing tempo of the music. There were turns and shines and little accents that were just "mwah!" so right with the song.

When the music ended with our final embrace, we both said "wow!" simultaneously.

Whoosh!

LEADING LADY
"You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend."

I was watching The Holiday (Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Jack Black) and this line struck such a chord with me - it was almost as if someone was talking to me directly and it made me realize that I have been acting like the best friend.

Time to step up and be the leading lady :)

I've always thought of myself as the wing person or the best friend. I know I'm intelligent and capable and extremely trustworthy but I have never truly seen myself as "that girl". Its never fails to surprise me when I am complimented and acknowledged. A 29-year old flirtation asked me why it was so surprising to believe and I realized that the reason I'm so surprised is because I never thought of myself as the leading lady.

Everyone is the leading lady (or man) in their own life and when that point truly hits home, that's when all the magic starts to happen. Though there will be drama: ups and downs, the key to this thought is the power around being the lead.

SATURATION POINT
I never thought I'd be saying this but I've hit a saturation point.

There is such a thing as too much dancing! 3 weeks of dancing involving 6-7 consecutive days with workshops spaced in between will do it. My record for number of days dancing in a row is now up to 8.

My head is filled with new dance patterns, music rhythms, instruments to listen for and a whole new world of dance instruction and performance. Its been exciting and fun and it has stretched me both mentally and physically in a way that I have not yet experienced before.

I would say its refreshing except that I was exhausted from lack of sleep :)

When the dust finally settled, I was able to just dance for the fun of it last night and it centered me again.

AH! That just felt good.

I got to the venue late and from the 1st dance onward, didn't get a break. I got to dance with almost all my favs (alas, some had to leave early) and with some new faces and got paid the nicest compliments - all while doing something that I love! What more can I ask for?

:)

Reset. Ready for more!