tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7406343970936567510.post7345750499781092887..comments2023-06-28T07:13:57.316-07:00Comments on Tee4Life: Shall We Dance?Kizomba Seattlehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03273746292487393168noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7406343970936567510.post-29578049451106490482010-10-02T02:45:48.254-07:002010-10-02T02:45:48.254-07:00Mr. Eliott - 5 noes deep is more than enough :)
M...Mr. Eliott - 5 noes deep is more than enough :)<br /><br />Mark - I appreciate your candor but I want point out that the word "passive" is no where in the post. Nor am I making statements to do with sex-roles.I certainly am not advocating being passive and waiting for something to happen. Nor do I even refer to arbitrary sex-roles - I am talking about the interaction between 2 roles in social dancing.<br /><br />I think you misunderstand what I mean by the dynamic between a lead and follow. A follow is not passive. We have an active voice in the dance: we listen to the lead, to the music and focus on communicating by reacting to what a lead initiates in order to create movement in harmony with the music that leads us both. <br /><br />As you say - I do not need to be led into styling (though some leads try to do it for me) and I can easily influence and change the mood and direction of a dance by the way I follow. The dynamic of leading and following does not mean that one role is "weaker" than the other or more passive or less active. As a follow, I have an active voice and can chose to accept or reject a request to dance.<br /><br />The dance would not work well if a follow were to initiate. Many leads have expressed to me that they are not comfortable when the follow decides to back lead. Something is lost in the connection when that happens. The same is true for follows that do not react to the lead - that would be a one way conversatin. Partner dancing does not work well if both people initiate neither one reacting to the other. Its like 2 people in a conversation talking about 2 entirely different things.<br /><br />I agree that is it wonderful to be asked to dance and equally wonderful to have someone smile and accept. What I'm writing about is more about the lead follow dynamic and less about "liking someone" - i can have a fantastic dance with a total stranger: I like dancing with him but don't know enough to make a judgement about liking him as a person. That's the beauty of dancing: a connection established by leading and following (initiating and reacting)<br /><br />We can agree to disagree. I think it would be mistake to assume that a follow is passive simply because they do not ask the leads to dance. <br /><br />In the end, I fall back on my universal rule: to do what my heart tells me without disrespecting the people around me.Kizomba Seattlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03273746292487393168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7406343970936567510.post-9295860445956422862010-09-30T13:00:36.899-07:002010-09-30T13:00:36.899-07:00I have a strong reaction to this one.
I disagree....I have a strong reaction to this one.<br /><br />I disagree. There's a huge difference between being a follow and being passive. Good follows; GREAT follows are anything BUT passive.<br /><br />In any relationship from dance acquaintances to lovers it take mutual initiation and reciprocation to make it work. Follows do not wait to be "led" to style - they choose and initiate it themselves.<br /><br />Follows who chose to passively wait for leads to be the only one who asks for a dance, will passively have to accept what comes their way and will miss out on a HUGE amount of *their* ability to make wonderful things happen.<br /><br />I cannot tell you how honored I am when a follow - ANY follow - comes up to me to ask for a dance. It says that she likes me; it says that she wants to spend some time (even if only a dance) with me; it says that she values me... all the same things that I imagine follows feel when leads they like and enjoy ask THEM to dance.<br /><br />Sorry but passivity and strong beliefs in arbitrary sex-roles turn me off and there are follows I won't dance with simply because they never seem to have the confidence to ask; conversely, there are some beginners who still clearly struggle with many of the "basics" that I treasure dancing with, simply because they constantly seek me out, initiate asking and genuinely seem to enjoy dancing with me.<br /><br />I've never been one to await what might or might not happen in life; can't understand why someone else would choose to...Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05807930785030319580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7406343970936567510.post-39223972387148380502010-09-30T10:49:36.030-07:002010-09-30T10:49:36.030-07:00My skin is 5 noes thick.
Layer 1: "Maybe she ...My skin is 5 noes thick.<br />Layer 1: "Maybe she hates this song."<br />Layer 2: "Maybe she hurt her foot."<br />Layer 3: "Maybe she's too sweaty and didn't bring a spare shirt so she needs to cool off."<br />Layer 4: "Maybe she really needs to take a dump right now and she's waiting for a friend to accompany her to the restroom and she just can't wait five minutes."<br />Layer 5: "OK, I give up! No more asking!"Mr. Elliothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08317815930486558560noreply@blogger.com